Jane, this is such a good one. Alex, the bit about your son and the blanket on the couch, so good. Everyone, read this for a glimmer of the logic behind Alex’s thinking.
I love and admire Alex from afar and frankly don't understand why he isn't my good pal who lives a few blocks away. Not that he'll have any time to hang out once there are two tiny children in his life. And I too love this sentiment: “I hope to continue letting go of what I believe ought to happen so that I may be surprised by what actually is.” Truly, words to live by.
I love this. Like Alex, I also had an ESL teacher at elementary school who got me started with English. Also, I agree, the house feels empty without the sound of pitter patters of our pets. Lovely post, looking forward for more.
Yes, it's not home without the pitter patter!! And I'm happy you had that wonderful teacher! So glad you enjoyed the interview. Yes, many more yet to come!
Yes, we move too fast to be present most of the time. Nice for me right this moment is noticing my two pups and how they sleep, the snow outside right now (blizzard day for us in New England), how the lamb I'm slow cooking smells, the two books I'm in the middle of, the eucalyptus on the dining room table that still looks fresh, thank God, a blooming amaryllis.
Like Alex Dobrenko, I'm from the fomer Soviet Union (though I came to the States when I was older).
But that's not the only thing we have in common. Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse is one of my favorite books too. In fact, while a film student at NUY in the early '80s, I took three of Dr. Carse's courses(at the time he was the head of the Literature of Religion Department there). In one of the courses, A Perfect Society, he read us chapters of from the book he'd been working on, which later would be known as Finite and Infinite Games. I kept in touch with him till the day he died.
That's so interesting, Alex! I hadn't heard of the book until Alex D mentioned it. What a wonderful experience to know him and to watch his book evolve!
Dr. Carse was one of a kind. He was funny and entertaining (no one at NYU at that time got more Teacher of the Year awards than he did). He was very generous with his time, especially with me, because I was a recent émigré, only a couple of years off the boat from Belarus, so to speak, and was madly interested in what he had to say. He was a strict vegetarian, and I became one because of him (at least for a few years).
Here's something you might find amusing. This was 1982-83. We had to type our assignments on typewriters. But Carse wouldn't accept any work unless it was typed on used paper — i.e., one side of each sheet had to be typed on. It was his way of saving the trees. He had an environmental mindset long before it became popular. I remember walking across Washington Square Park with him toward his building (NYU Faculty Housing on the other side of the park) and saying that I read somewhere that paper is now made from plastic waste, not trees (I don't remember where I got that). And Carse said, "Okay. But can you imagine the working conditions in that factory?"
If you haven't read any of his other books, I strongly recommend "Breakfast at The Victory" (essays about his life and work) and "The Religious Case Against Belief," about how religion transcends narrow boundaries established by belief. It was written many years after he retired. In this video, he came out of retirement to do this lecture after the book came out. https://youtu.be/00PJQowk-uc?si=GqFglD_2TAdoId4A
This is a good audio episode with him talking about the Infinite Game.
Before he died three and a half years ago, he wrote a comic novel called "Ph.Death."
Oh, and one of his other books that I really like is called "The Silence of God: Meditation on Prayer," in which he coined this famous phrase: "The Present silence of God is the silent presence of God." He was not at all religious in the traditional sense of the world. He was into yoga and Eastern religions as much as he was interested in Christianity and Judaism. It was all about the mystery of being human.
Another fun fact: He was about 6'3" and strikingly handsome. All the women (and probably some men) were in love with him. Linn Ullmann, the daughter of Ingmar Bergman and Liv Ullmann, was in one of my classes — "The Perfect Society" — which Prof. Carse taught (it was probably the most interesting class I've ever taken), and I remember her saying that she had a total crush on him. :)
As for our correspondence, we communicated on the phone only — there were no handwritten letters, alas. When he got older, he moved with his new wife to Massachusetts (he lost his first wife to cancer), and it was harder to reach him. But we did speak every year around Christmas until he died.
He was a very special human. I turned 61 last month and still want to be like him.
He sounds so cool. I don't know how I've made it this far in life without hearing about him!?! Thanks for sharing all that. Alex D will be delighted! And I'm going to pick up one of the books you suggested. Thanks, Alex!
omg Alex this is so mindblowing to read. I think given the way Finite and Infinite Games is written I imagined him as a very...distant cooky character? So to hear he was personable and beloved and also tall and handsome is strange and amazing.
I have not read those books! But am going to now. And about to listen to those two youtube vids you sent over.
I feel like I will have more questions soon - can I send them your way?? Lemme know if theres a good email to reaech you or feel free to email me at botharetrue@substack.com
thank you again for sharing all of this!! I love the 'submit papers on used paper' policy too hahaha
Jane, this is such a good one. Alex, the bit about your son and the blanket on the couch, so good. Everyone, read this for a glimmer of the logic behind Alex’s thinking.
His son and the blanket!! My heart!!
Thanks so much Debbie!
Did he know I needed this reminder? “I hope to continue letting go of what I believe ought to happen so that I may be surprised by what actually is.”
I know! Such a wonderful reminder!
I did not know you needed it I also didn’t know I needed if but I’m glad we both got it!
I love and admire Alex from afar and frankly don't understand why he isn't my good pal who lives a few blocks away. Not that he'll have any time to hang out once there are two tiny children in his life. And I too love this sentiment: “I hope to continue letting go of what I believe ought to happen so that I may be surprised by what actually is.” Truly, words to live by.
I know! I want Alex to be my neighbor, as well!! And, yes, those are wonderful words to live by. Glad you enjoyed the interview!
k jane you gotta move near us too
alright fine i'll pick up my family and move to be neighbors no big
I love this. Like Alex, I also had an ESL teacher at elementary school who got me started with English. Also, I agree, the house feels empty without the sound of pitter patters of our pets. Lovely post, looking forward for more.
Thanks so much Mishell! Those ESL teachers are the best
Yes, it's not home without the pitter patter!! And I'm happy you had that wonderful teacher! So glad you enjoyed the interview. Yes, many more yet to come!
"The wisdom is to notice the nice." I LOVE that.
Me, too!! Let's do it! ❤️
I gotta remember this today haha
What a delightful interview! You always get to the lovely uniqueness of each person.
Oh, thank you, Elizabeth! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks for reading it Elizabeth and yes I agree Jane’s questions have a way of letting you meander your soul for the good stuff to naturally emerge
And they did, Alex. I'm glad to have you on my radar screen as an author to watch and read.
Aw, thanks, Alex. Luckily you have a beautiful and fascinating soul!
Noticing the nice. That might just be one of the keys to life 😊💗
Indeed! I know I always feel much much much better when I do!! ❤️
Yes, we move too fast to be present most of the time. Nice for me right this moment is noticing my two pups and how they sleep, the snow outside right now (blizzard day for us in New England), how the lamb I'm slow cooking smells, the two books I'm in the middle of, the eucalyptus on the dining room table that still looks fresh, thank God, a blooming amaryllis.
Mary! How lovely! Yes, I am at my best, when I notice the nice. It makes such a difference.
dang that was a nice read and reminder for me
I welled up hard at that couch moment
I know!!! Alex shifts effortlessly from so funny to so tender!!
🧡🧡🧡
“Slouch social” 🫶🏽 also: the blanket moment! Gahhhhhhh
Haha. It's a great term!! So accurate. And the blanket!! Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
thank you Kara!! 🧡
"The wisdom is to notice the nice." Love this, Jane and Alex. Thank you for the reminder!
It's so true! And changes everything when we do it!! Glad you enjoyed the interview!
🧡🧡🧡
Fun interview, Jane.
Like Alex Dobrenko, I'm from the fomer Soviet Union (though I came to the States when I was older).
But that's not the only thing we have in common. Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse is one of my favorite books too. In fact, while a film student at NUY in the early '80s, I took three of Dr. Carse's courses(at the time he was the head of the Literature of Religion Department there). In one of the courses, A Perfect Society, he read us chapters of from the book he'd been working on, which later would be known as Finite and Infinite Games. I kept in touch with him till the day he died.
That's so interesting, Alex! I hadn't heard of the book until Alex D mentioned it. What a wonderful experience to know him and to watch his book evolve!
omfg what!!? wait i wanna know everything was he cool in person? what was your correspondence w him like? i have so many questions!
Hi Alex,
Dr. Carse was one of a kind. He was funny and entertaining (no one at NYU at that time got more Teacher of the Year awards than he did). He was very generous with his time, especially with me, because I was a recent émigré, only a couple of years off the boat from Belarus, so to speak, and was madly interested in what he had to say. He was a strict vegetarian, and I became one because of him (at least for a few years).
Here's something you might find amusing. This was 1982-83. We had to type our assignments on typewriters. But Carse wouldn't accept any work unless it was typed on used paper — i.e., one side of each sheet had to be typed on. It was his way of saving the trees. He had an environmental mindset long before it became popular. I remember walking across Washington Square Park with him toward his building (NYU Faculty Housing on the other side of the park) and saying that I read somewhere that paper is now made from plastic waste, not trees (I don't remember where I got that). And Carse said, "Okay. But can you imagine the working conditions in that factory?"
If you haven't read any of his other books, I strongly recommend "Breakfast at The Victory" (essays about his life and work) and "The Religious Case Against Belief," about how religion transcends narrow boundaries established by belief. It was written many years after he retired. In this video, he came out of retirement to do this lecture after the book came out. https://youtu.be/00PJQowk-uc?si=GqFglD_2TAdoId4A
This is a good audio episode with him talking about the Infinite Game.
https://youtu.be/r6ME0_iXr4M?si=5G3gTIzKQmanQayc
Before he died three and a half years ago, he wrote a comic novel called "Ph.Death."
Oh, and one of his other books that I really like is called "The Silence of God: Meditation on Prayer," in which he coined this famous phrase: "The Present silence of God is the silent presence of God." He was not at all religious in the traditional sense of the world. He was into yoga and Eastern religions as much as he was interested in Christianity and Judaism. It was all about the mystery of being human.
Another fun fact: He was about 6'3" and strikingly handsome. All the women (and probably some men) were in love with him. Linn Ullmann, the daughter of Ingmar Bergman and Liv Ullmann, was in one of my classes — "The Perfect Society" — which Prof. Carse taught (it was probably the most interesting class I've ever taken), and I remember her saying that she had a total crush on him. :)
As for our correspondence, we communicated on the phone only — there were no handwritten letters, alas. When he got older, he moved with his new wife to Massachusetts (he lost his first wife to cancer), and it was harder to reach him. But we did speak every year around Christmas until he died.
He was a very special human. I turned 61 last month and still want to be like him.
He sounds so cool. I don't know how I've made it this far in life without hearing about him!?! Thanks for sharing all that. Alex D will be delighted! And I'm going to pick up one of the books you suggested. Thanks, Alex!
Thank you, Jane. Love your posts!
Thank you!
omg Alex this is so mindblowing to read. I think given the way Finite and Infinite Games is written I imagined him as a very...distant cooky character? So to hear he was personable and beloved and also tall and handsome is strange and amazing.
I have not read those books! But am going to now. And about to listen to those two youtube vids you sent over.
I feel like I will have more questions soon - can I send them your way?? Lemme know if theres a good email to reaech you or feel free to email me at botharetrue@substack.com
thank you again for sharing all of this!! I love the 'submit papers on used paper' policy too hahaha
Glad you liked it, Alex.
There isn't an iota of exageration there, my hand to God.
You can contact me any time at ak1214@gmail.com
I thought that was going to get you excited! 😹
I love Alex and his newsletter. And I NEEDED to read that spider exchange today!
Haha. I love the spider!!
if there's one person that is gonna love the spider thing, I knew it'd be you
this is beautiful ❤️
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. ❤️
🧡
I loved reading this and I love Alex's newsletter. Thank you for sharing this interview.
Alex's newsletter is so (so!) good! Glad you enjoyed the interview!
Thanks Tanya!!
perfect read that came to me at a perfect time
I’m so glad!