Our (Western) culture really doesn't make a lot of space for grieving, especially the grieving of lost opportunities, lost loves, lost pets ... These words help. <3
How amazing these are, Jane--each one so profound in its truth. Grief is such a weird and unexpected animal. When we've lived through enough deaths and losses, we can begin to know some of the many ways it'll shake the world for us, turning normal things into moments of outrage or extreme fatigue or mental blank. I think it's one of the most complicated experiences/feelings I've ever lived through, each time so unique. Thanks for all these voices around it. There's definitely solace in community when grieving even though it's intensely private.
Oh, Mary, as always, this is all so beautifully put. I agree, grief is weird and complicated. And community helps so much! I grateful for everyone here and all the wonderful people I'm lucky enough to speak with.
I read this quote last week in an NPR interview with Hanif Abdurraqib, and it's been circling in my head since: " I'm of the belief that one doesn't move past loss. Or at least in my life, I don't move past loss. Grief makes a home within us if we allow it to. I believe that, at that point, I was learning to be something that I'm committed to now, I believe that I should be a generous steward to my grief. If I tend generously to my grief then it treats me well in return. That means that each time I'm confronted with the grief, I have a newer depth of tools to move through it. Understanding that grief is not only tied to death or loss, but grief of the various heartbreaks we live with."
Ooooh, Vanessa, that is beautiful. And I find it to be so true. I believe that's exactly what I'm doing these days with the burnout and the turning toward rest: making generous and loving space for my grief. It holds so much wisdom and kindness and even humor. I need to get better at listening. Big Love, my friend. xx
All resonates with me today especially that I published my own grief update this morning. Grateful I saw this in my feed as I think learning from each other's grief experiences is much needed. Thankyou!
Wonder filled interviews, full of honesty, transparency and caring. When we live every day with grace, humor, kindness, gratitude and hope, we have the resources to come to terms with anything that crosses our path along the way, including death. My hope is that as we get older we also get wiser and by living fully each day in the now, we're ready for tomorrow, come what may.
If you are a fan of in-depth, meaningful interviews, I want to recommend you have a look at a 3-year project that a friend of mine is doing called, "Wisdom Road." Grant Lichtman is traveling the United States, interviewing people and families, many of whom represent those who have been marginalized or forgotten. I think the last leg of his journey is beginning soon. He posts regularly on Facebook and I'm sure he will have a book coming out of this in the next year or so.
Hey Jane--coming to this a bit later but really resonate with grief and the experience of losing yourself along the way. Planning to write more about grief after the loss of my twin brother so this is inspiring to me.
I read this quote last week in an NPR interview with Hanif Abdurraqib, and it's been circling in my head since: " I'm of the belief that one doesn't move past loss. Or at least in my life, I don't move past loss. Grief makes a home within us if we allow it to. I believe that, at that point, I was learning to be something that I'm committed to now, I believe that I should be a generous steward to my grief. If I tend generously to my grief then it treats me well in return. That means that each time I'm confronted with the grief, I have a newer depth of tools to move through it. Understanding that grief is not only tied to death or loss, but grief of the various heartbreaks we live with."
Our (Western) culture really doesn't make a lot of space for grieving, especially the grieving of lost opportunities, lost loves, lost pets ... These words help. <3
I agree! And I'm so glad you found this post helpful. I did, too!
How amazing these are, Jane--each one so profound in its truth. Grief is such a weird and unexpected animal. When we've lived through enough deaths and losses, we can begin to know some of the many ways it'll shake the world for us, turning normal things into moments of outrage or extreme fatigue or mental blank. I think it's one of the most complicated experiences/feelings I've ever lived through, each time so unique. Thanks for all these voices around it. There's definitely solace in community when grieving even though it's intensely private.
Oh, Mary, as always, this is all so beautifully put. I agree, grief is weird and complicated. And community helps so much! I grateful for everyone here and all the wonderful people I'm lucky enough to speak with.
Newly navigating grief, and found this so helpful. Thanks for bringing together these words.
So sorry about the new grief. I'm glad these words have helped. xx
I read this quote last week in an NPR interview with Hanif Abdurraqib, and it's been circling in my head since: " I'm of the belief that one doesn't move past loss. Or at least in my life, I don't move past loss. Grief makes a home within us if we allow it to. I believe that, at that point, I was learning to be something that I'm committed to now, I believe that I should be a generous steward to my grief. If I tend generously to my grief then it treats me well in return. That means that each time I'm confronted with the grief, I have a newer depth of tools to move through it. Understanding that grief is not only tied to death or loss, but grief of the various heartbreaks we live with."
Ooooh, Vanessa, that is beautiful. And I find it to be so true. I believe that's exactly what I'm doing these days with the burnout and the turning toward rest: making generous and loving space for my grief. It holds so much wisdom and kindness and even humor. I need to get better at listening. Big Love, my friend. xx
All resonates with me today especially that I published my own grief update this morning. Grateful I saw this in my feed as I think learning from each other's grief experiences is much needed. Thankyou!
I agree--we can learn so much from one another. Sorry you are also in the throes of grief. Though I'm not sure we're ever completely free of it.
Wonder filled interviews, full of honesty, transparency and caring. When we live every day with grace, humor, kindness, gratitude and hope, we have the resources to come to terms with anything that crosses our path along the way, including death. My hope is that as we get older we also get wiser and by living fully each day in the now, we're ready for tomorrow, come what may.
Yes to all of this! That's my hope, as well. And so glad you enjoyed the interviews, Gary!
If you are a fan of in-depth, meaningful interviews, I want to recommend you have a look at a 3-year project that a friend of mine is doing called, "Wisdom Road." Grant Lichtman is traveling the United States, interviewing people and families, many of whom represent those who have been marginalized or forgotten. I think the last leg of his journey is beginning soon. He posts regularly on Facebook and I'm sure he will have a book coming out of this in the next year or so.
That sounds wonderful! Just googled him. Looking forward to digging in. Thank you!
Hey Jane--coming to this a bit later but really resonate with grief and the experience of losing yourself along the way. Planning to write more about grief after the loss of my twin brother so this is inspiring to me.
Lauren—I’m so sorry you’ve lost your twin. I’m glad these words helped. ❤️
I read this quote last week in an NPR interview with Hanif Abdurraqib, and it's been circling in my head since: " I'm of the belief that one doesn't move past loss. Or at least in my life, I don't move past loss. Grief makes a home within us if we allow it to. I believe that, at that point, I was learning to be something that I'm committed to now, I believe that I should be a generous steward to my grief. If I tend generously to my grief then it treats me well in return. That means that each time I'm confronted with the grief, I have a newer depth of tools to move through it. Understanding that grief is not only tied to death or loss, but grief of the various heartbreaks we live with."