The Comfort of Cozy

The Body, Brain, and Books: Eleven Questions with writer and public speaker Stephanie Land

Welcome to another edition of The Body, Brain, & Books. If you enjoy reading these quick, insightful interviews brimming with wisdom and hope, please subscribe to Beyond!

Stephanie Land

is an author and public speaker. Her memoir, "MAID: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive," which debuted at #3 on the New York Times bestseller list, has sold over 300,000 copies in the U.S. and Canada, been published in 30 languages, and inspired the Netflix series MAID, which remains one of the platform's most-watched limited series of all time. Her recent memoir "CLASS: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hunger, and Higher Education" was a Good Morning America Book Club pick and is both the sequel and origin story of MAID. Her work focuses on social and economic justice, domestic violence, and parenting under the poverty line, and has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and many other outlets. Land regularly speaks at colleges and organizations all over the country, and serves as an Arts & Entertainment Ambassador for the National Domestic Workers Alliance. She writes

The Privilege to Feel

here on Substack.

1. What are you reading now?

I’m reading an early copy of Life and Death of the American Worker by Alice Driver and Class Dismissed by Anthony Jack. They’re both incredible and I’m in awe of their research and passion for marginalized workers and students, respectively. I did recently read a whole book for pleasure on vacation, though! Michelle McNamara’s I’ll be Gone in the Dark, which was amazing. I realized the last time I read a book purely for pleasure was a year before that when I was also on vacation, so I have been carrying Leslie Jamison’s new memoir, Splinters, with me when I travel for work and I’m about halfway through that. It’s slow going, because I have to keep pausing to absorb her writing style. She’s so masterful, it’s really like nothing I’ve ever seen.

2. What are your most beloved books from your youth? Did you ever hide any from your parents?

From my youth? I kind of went straight from The Babysitters Club series to Stephen King, so I’ll answer that question with The Shining, since that’s the one I remember the most details from. The only book I ever tried to hide from my parents was my journal, but they found it and read it anyway.

3. What’s your favorite book to reread? Any that helped you through a dark time? 

Honestly, for a long time it was The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank. I used to read it straight through in one sitting every time I got my heart broken by a boy, and would underline things in different colored pens each read. It’s interesting to see what lines spoke to me at different times.

4. What’s an article of clothing that makes you feel most like you?

Old Carhartt pants and a good, worn-in hoodie has been my go-to outfit since I was 19.

5. What’s the best piece of wisdom you’ve encountered recently?

Drink water and take your meds.

Stephanie in her Carhartts with Orion

6. Tell me about any special relationship you’ve had with an animal, domestic or wild?

Well, about a year and a half ago, I kind of fell into horse ownership. My daughter had been taking lessons for four years and kept getting attached to horses they used for lessons and then they would move out of the barn or get sold. I told the owner of the barn that I was interested in purchasing a horse for her, thinking it would happen in the Spring, but three days later she messaged me with photos of a horse that was for sale on the other side of Montana. I trusted the barn owner, so I said sure, and a week later I was officially a horse owner. It was a few weeks before my book deadline, and I’d just pulled a muscle in my calf, and my speaking gig season was about to start, so I only got to visit him a couple of times that Fall. By Spring, it was apparent that he wasn’t thriving at all. He jumped at every sudden noise, and when my daughter rode him he seemed to be anxious and called for the horses in the field. When the owner of the barn suggested selling him, I started asking around to see if there would be a better option for boarding him. I’m not sure I have ever felt such a deep responsibility for the care of an animal before. He’d just turned nine, and he’d been with his former owner and her three children for his entire life, and now he was in this huge field with a bunch of strange horses and we only got down to visit him a few times a month. Luckily, I knew the niece of one of the best trainers in a 100-mile radius, which is a pretty big feat for Montana. Orion started to relax, and I discovered that I, too, had to relax to hang out with him. I learned horses can hear your heartbeat from four feet away, and I did breathing exercises as I drove to the barn. Since his new home was just 15 minutes from our house, I went down to see him almost daily that whole summer. He began to blossom. His coat and composure changed, and he started to show a goofy side. Soon, the barn became the one place where my anxiety knew it wasn’t welcomed. Orion just had his 10^th birthday there and we got him a cake to celebrate. He’s such a love, and truly is a much-needed presence in our lives.

7. What’s one thing you are happy worked out differently than you expected?

My husband and I met on Bumble. We were two full-time single parents looking to get laid and nothing more. In August, we’ll celebrate our five-year wedding anniversary.

8. Singing in the shower or dancing in the kitchen? Or another favorite way your body expresses itself?

I’m more of a cozy person. Think under blankets with a good true crime documentary. So much of my life is public, and I travel a lot for my job. It’s pretty common for me to have the urge to hide when I am home, so I find a lot of comfort in working from bed.

9. What are your hopes for yourself?

Currently, I hope my mental health improves to the point where I don’t experience a sort of agoraphobia whenever I want to go out to dinner or even to the grocery store.

10. What’s a kindness that changed your life?

Peggy, who runs the barn where Orion lives, amazes me with her perfect mixture of rough exterior and soft insides. Her waitlist for the barn is long, but she made room for us. For that, I’m forever grateful.

11. What’s a guiding force in your life? 

My therapist told me recently about this psychological test they did once with a baby monkey. In a cage, the baby had two options: one plush monkey, and a monkey covered in spiky wires with a bottle of milk. The baby monkey chose comfort over sustenance, and cuddled with the plush monkey. I think being a plush monkey has been something I have always strived to be in raising my daughters.  

⭐️Beyond with Jane Ratcliffe is a reader-supported publication with the goal of bringing as much light as possible into this world of ours. If you look forward to reading Beyond, please consider becoming a paid subscriber.

Thank you for being here, dear Beyonders! ❤️ Your comments (and hearts) mean so much to me. I read each and every one.