The Body, Brain, & Books: Rene Denfeld

Eleven questions with award-winning novelist Rene Denfeld

Hello Beyonders!

I’m delighted to offer a new column here at Beyond: The Body, Brain, and Books. And I’m even more delighted to have Rene Denfeld as our inaugural interview. Rene is one of my most most most favorite authors. Her books are exquisite. Tight and plot-driven with edge-of-your-seat suspense, but also so lyrical and gentle and rife with wisdom: her words will change the way you see the world. On top of that, Rene is one of my favorite humans: she is wise beyond measure and so deeply kind and compassionate. I’m always learning from her. She’s also very funny.

Here we go!

Photo @ Owen Carey

The Body, Brain, and Books: Eleven Questions with Rene Denfeld

1. What are you reading now?

My latest stack includes a three book memoir from punk rock legend Jerry A of Poison Idea, called Black Heart Fades Blue, a novel called About the Carleton Sisters by Dian Greenwood, Wintering by Katherine May, and A Book of Days by Patti Smith.  

2. What are your most beloved books from your youth? Did you ever hide any from your parents?

My most beloved book would definitely be The White Dawn by James Houston. That book is magic for me. I can’t even say why or how. I keep my worn copy by my bed.

As far as hiding from my parents, I didn’t grow up with that kind of dynamic. When I was a little girl and still lived at home, my mother didn’t police what I read. Actually, one of her many wonderful qualities was that she loved books. She used to walk with me to the local library. When the librarians asked her if it was okay I was reading all these adult books, she told them she trusted me.

Later on, dynamics made it so my home was not safe. I ended up homeless as a young teen. I spent a lot of time in the downtown library, because it was a safe, warm place, and it had books. Some of my favorite books came from those days. Books like The Woman Warrior and West with the Night. I’ll never forget the feeling of safety and solace, reading in that library as the sky darkened the windows. I discovered hope in books.  

3. What’s your favorite book to reread? Any that helped you through a dark time?

I’m a compulsive rereader. There are books I’ve literally read hundreds of times. This was how I learned to write. I believe that we can learn everything we need about writing from books. Each time we reread a book, we absorb a deeper level of craft. We become aware of the rhythms of structure, the importance of voice, the feeling of a moving plot. All of this is completely free to us and doesn’t require any degrees. My most reread authors would probably include Toni Morrison, Larry McMurty, Charles Willeford, Ntozake Shange, Stephen King, Jane Smiley, Rosamunde Pilcher, Maeve Binchy, Katherine Dunn…I could go on. As you can tell, I don’t make judgements about genre or popularity. I don’t care if people think a book is good or bad. If I like the story, I’m in love. 

So many books have helped me through dark times. You know how you can read a book dozens of times, and yet each time you read it you discover something new? That’s how I feel about books. They are like magical kaleidoscopes that reflect back our world in ways that illuminate, delight and make us whole. 

4. What’s an article of clothing that makes you feel most like you?

I admire when other people have a fashion sense, even though I don’t have one. My son Markel is my fashion idol. Lately he’s been dressing like a real life Bratz doll. He’s so damn cool. 

5. What’s the best piece of wisdom you've encountered recently?

I found this one recently. "What a mess we've made, trying to prove we don't need each other." It's from poet Ginnie Bale. It speaks to so much heartache in our world. So many people are trying to prove to themselves and others they don't care. Deep underneath, I think most of us desperately want to be loved, to feel like we are good in this world.  

Our society rewards not caring. We punish people for caring. I've seen that a lot in my justice work. I remember having a case where I exonerated an innocent man. He had already been judged guilty in the media and among my peers. I lost friends over that case. They just couldn't accept he was innocent. They had invested in believing he was a monster and couldn't confront the fact they might be wrong. It made me think about how even progressives encourage each other to be vindictive, vengeful, and punishing. It wasn't just the right that voted in mass incarceration, after all. Everyone wants to be "tough" on crime. We don't ask, what does that even mean? Why are we celebrating cruelty? Why do we deem a thorough investigation into the facts a crime in and of itself? Why are we so quick to judge? So yes. What a mess we have made, trying to prove we don't need each other. 

6. Tell me about a special relationship you’ve had with an animal, domestic or wild?

I’m a dog lover. For most of my adult life I’ve had dogs. My Kesi was probably the most special. She was a purebred German Shepherd that came from a rescue. There was something very magical about that girl. I still miss her. 

My current doggie is a Great Pyrenees rescue named Snow Dog. He’s also very special. He’s getting old, and I’m in that place of preparatory grief. It’s a sad, painful and yet beautifully mysterious thing, to know death is coming and we will lose something we love. 

7. What's one thing you are happy worked out way differently than you expected?

I survived. Honestly, that’s it. I survived and now I get to love my kids. I get to live in this world. I really can’t overstate how special that is.  

8. Singing in the shower or dancing in the kitchen? Or another favorite way your body expresses itself?

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more quiet in my body. I feel like something great is coalescing deep inside me. Maybe it is wisdom, coming? I love to go for long walks, and feel myself moving through nature. I feel part of the world then. 

Lately I’ve been thinking how no matter how big we are, or how small, we are all made up of many small parts. I find that soothing. 

9. What are your hopes for yourself?

Not to be morbid, but I would like to live long enough to feel assured my kids will do okay without me. That’s my biggest goal. I love them so much, I want everything for them, and they deserve it. 

10. What’s a kindness that changed your life?

I’ve experienced so many kindnesses. I remember being on the streets, soaked to my skin and shivering, and this old man crossed the street towards me. At first I thought, great, another old perv. But instead he handed me a jar of nuts he had in his pocket. That was it, and it was everything. In more recent years I’ve made so many amazing women friends through the writing community. It’s pretty amazing. Now I get to mentor other writers from hard backgrounds. I get to show kindness to others. 

11. What’s a guiding force in your life?

I would say love. Love for life. Love of people. Love of nature and beauty and hope. Look, I know how easy it is to fall into bitterness and anger. So many horrifyingly unjust things are happening . I've dedicated myself to fighting them, through my public defense and death row work. I'm on the frontlines. I'm not someone who is sitting back, enjoying a life of privilege, telling others to just do yoga, you'll feel better. I'm someone who has worked hundreds of public defense cases, exonerated innocents from prison, and helped rape trafficking victims escape their captors. I walk my talk. I'm also a parent to kids from foster care. Trauma is woven through my life, from my own history of being abused and homeless, to how I help others today.

I'm not afraid of trauma, and I'm not afraid of truth. The truth is life is beautiful, it can be so beautiful. I tell my kids, "I don't love you despite all you have been through, I love you including it." There is immense joy in a love like that, one that encompasses the pain and suffering of others and says to them, you are welcome in my heart. Staying connected to love helps replenish me for the fight. When I am working a hard case, or going through a tough time, I go for a walk and see the beauty of nature. I am reminded how much I love others, and how lucky I am to be loved in return. For me, that is the purpose of life. 

***

Rene Denfeld is the internationally bestselling author of three novels, The Enchanted, The Child Finder, and The Butterfly Girl. Her novels have won numerous prestigious awards, including a French prix, an ALA Medal of Excellence, an IMPAC listing, and a Carnegie listing. Margaret Atwood has praised her as "astonishing." In addition to her writing, Rene is the past Chief Investigator for a public defense office. She has worked on hundreds of cases, including death row exonerations and asylum for rape trafficking victims. In 2017 the New York Times named Rene a hero of the year for her justice work, and she was awarded a Break The Silence Award in Washington, DC. She lives in Portland, Oregon, where she is the happy mother to kids from foster care. Her next novel, Sleeping Giants, will be out spring of 2024. 

Meet me in the comment section

Pick a question from above to answer in the comments! Do you have a special relationship with an animal? What is your biggest hope for yourself today? Tell me all about it.