Tell The Stories That Aren’t Typically Told
The Body, Brain, and Books: Eleven Questions with writer Lindsey Stanberry
Welcome to another edition of The Body, Brain, & Books. If you enjoy reading these quick, insightful interviews brimming with wisdom and hope, please subscribe to Beyond.
What are you reading now?
I’ve been struggling with a real reading slump for a while, and it’s been bumming me out. I keep picking up and putting down books, not really knowing what I’m looking for and not wanting to read what everyone else is reading. I finally settled into A Ten-Year Nap by Meg Wolitzer, which I snagged off my mom’s bookshelf. I wasn’t sure about it at first—it’s about a bunch of moms in NYC, circa 2009. But Wolitzer a lovely writer and so much of the book is really relatable. Also, it makes me miss the time before smartphones.
What are your most beloved books from your youth? Did you ever hide any from your parents?
I loved anything with pioneer girls, especially the Little House on the Prairie series and Caddie Woodlawn. Give me a hearty, brave girl having adventures in the Great Plains! I also haven’t shaken my love for this genre. As an adult, two of my very favorite books are Prairie Fires, a biography about Laura Ingalls Wilder and her daughter, as well as Lonesome Dove, about cowboys on the Great Plains. There’s something about that era and landscape that I find so appealing.
I never hid books from my parents. They are big readers themselves and instilled in me a love of reading, but they also weren’t precious about what I read. I read pretty much anything I could get my hands on, from The Babysitters Club to the classics to my mom’s old Archie comics I found at my grandmother’s house. Oh to have a whole summer of nothing to do but read! I’d love to experience that again.
What’s your favorite book to reread? Any that helped you through a dark time?
Happy All The Time by Laurie Colwin is one of my all-time favorite books, and I’ll reread it every couple of years. I always manage to find new details that delight me, while also loving the comfort of returning to a book I know so well. And Colwin’s writing is just so good.
An editor at one of my first jobs recommended that I read Colwin when I was having a particular hard time in my personal life. I was new to New York City, and I didn’t have any friends, and I was so lonely. She told me to read Happy All The Time and start going on friend dates. Two excellent pieces of advice that I’ve since passed on to other young women. I ended up meeting one of my very best friends shortly after, who made my 20s in NYC much more fun and fulfilling.
What’s an article of clothing that makes you feel most like you?
Pretty much any dress with pockets. Even my wedding dress had pockets!
What’s the best piece of wisdom you've encountered recently?
I came across
and his wonderful newsletter, via ’s wonderful newsletter, . I find myself constantly nodding along reading both their newsletters. Marc is also one of my favorite follows on Notes, and this recent one really stood out, “What is for me cannot miss me.” https://substack.com/@raisingmyles/note/c-62417512As I’m trying to build my own business, it’s so hard to know what the next right step is. I’m trying to remember that it’s both okay to not know the right answer and make mistakes. Marc’s note helps to ground me and keep me moving forward at the same time.
Tell me about any special relationship you’ve had with an animal, domestic or wild?
I live near Green-Wood Cemetery, and there’s these amazing green parrots that nest in the Gothic arch at the front entrance. They fly all around the neighborhood and sometimes land on the tree outside my apartment. They make a real racket, but there’s something so happy and chatty about it. No one is quite sure how they got here or why they stay (I read they’re native to Argentina), but I just love them and their perseverance.
What's one thing you are happy worked out differently than you expected?
Pretty much every job I didn’t get! There were so many over the years that I really wanted and I didn’t get for any number of reasons. (So many tears shed over job rejections!) Most recently (though pre-pandemic), there was a columnist job at a really big newspaper. I thought it was a dream job, though looking back, I don’t think I would have been able to write very freely, and I’m sure I would have felt stifled. My grandmother used to say that everything works out for a reason, and while I take that with a grain of salt, it’s been 100% true for my career.
Singing in the shower or dancing in the kitchen? Or another favorite way your body expresses itself?
Dancing and singing in the kitchen. I have a terrible voice, but I love to sing. My husband, Ken, and I are always breaking into song, especially hits from the ’90s. Our kid must think we’re nuts. I’m also a terrible dancer, but I love to make up silly moves.
I find I do my best thinking in the shower. It’s where I get all my best ideas and can figure out resolutions to problems (big and small) that have been bugging me.
What are your hopes for yourself?
I have so much ambition that sometimes it feels like it courses through my body, and it’s hard to sit still. At the same time, I have an amazing family who I want to spend more time with. My constant hope is that I can find a way to do it all: pursue my ambitions and be with my family. I don’t think they have to be mutually exclusive, it’s just remembering that in all things it’s quality over quantity.
What’s a kindness that changed your life?
I feel like I’m so lucky to be surrounded by so many kind people who are always ready to lend a hand. I’m not sure I can point to one instance. But I will say that living in NYC, I’m constantly in awe of how kind my fellow New Yorkers are, and it’s why I have a hard time imagining living anywhere else. For example, this past weekend, I was meeting my dad for lunch in Manhattan, and he left his cell phone in a cab on his way to meet me. A young woman saw him in distress and chased down the cab for him and retrieved his cell phone. Say what you will about the pains of living life in a big city (and there are many!), there’s something magical about NYC and how it takes so many kind strangers to make it function.
What’s a guiding force in your life?
I really am driven to do good work. Both my parents worked in medical fields and dedicated their lives to helping others. As a writer, I’m not sure it’s as obvious how our work helps others, even though almost everyone can point to a favorite book or piece of writing. It’s been such a privilege to combine my love of writing with my passion for talking and learning about money and then sharing that knowledge with others. I’m not so bold as to say out loud that I think my work changes peoples lives. But a guiding force in my life is to tell stories that aren’t typically told, and to help people feel better about their financial decisions, and hopefully we’ll all learn something along the way.
If you enjoyed Lindsey’s questionnaire, you may also enjoy this one with Austin Kleon:
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Thank you, Jane. Lindsey is a very interesting lady with great views.
Thanks for this interview.
I appreciated the shout-out to New Yorkers. It's been my home for pretty much my entire life, and I care deeply about it. A lost wallet (old school) or phone is usually returned.
I also know well the tug between writing and everything else. It's something I grapple with.
Finally, riffing off the Little House on the Prairie, I recommend the TV show 1883. It's about pioneers and the main character is a teenage girl. It's a prequel to Yellowstone, which I did not like at all; 1883 is in a different quality league.