I'm Nobody: I thought belonging required you to be Somebody--until a chance conversation about a special dog taught me to witness someone's love as one Nobody beside another.
Stunning. And this moment of witnessing, pure and true. Thanks, Rona💕 “I could be the one he needed when a memory unmoored him and left him Nobody too. I accepted what he offered, the gift of witnessing his love. He didn’t wipe his tears. I didn’t look away.”
Wow. This is the best essay I've read in many moons. It's so deeply human, touching on so many things both wonderful and painful about living in a world as/with Somebodies and Nobodies. And of course how dogs have the natural gift of leveling the playing field for humanity.
Such a beautiful essay. It feels like we're carefully making our way on rocks across a stream -- each step is balanced and tested until proven solid. Of course I was rooting for the narrator and her story, but also somehow rooting for Kenneth. What a lovely reminder of the beauty of being a nobody and that even somebodys have soft, unprotected nobodys deep inside.
I am one of those who discovered Rona's poignant, beautiful writing and rare insight in the short essays on life that she posts on social media. As a confirmed crazy cat person, I always felt left out of the devout dog lovers' conversations, but all the deeper sentiments ring just as true. So touched to read this essay; thank you for sharing it.
I'm a confirmed crazy cat person, too! Though also dogs! I'm glad this one touched your heart. There are definitely also "heart cats"! Or bunnies. Or mice. Et cetera. (If you have a cat essay up your sleeve, please let me know!)
ok Jane, will do. You may remember me as the person who wrote to you about my memoir, Paris Blue. You kindly said to perhaps send in an excerpt which I have yet to do. I have never even considered writing about my intense love of cats - I have another career as a classical musician and curator of concerts, so it doesn't occur to me to write essays of this type! But you have planted this seed and I may take you up on it :) thank you!! Wish I could post my favorite photos or videos of Daphne (my cat) playing ping-pong with me. I just posted on instagram a video of Chloe (her sister) making an entrance onto our window sill when, during the pandemic, we played Music in the Window.
Julie, cats can also release profound love that defies the power of speech. They don’t bring people together as dogs do during walks, but maybe that’s part of their gift--the intimacy of sgaring a loved space with your cat.
Jane- thank you for sharing Rona's essay. I knew from her social media posts and her comments on my posts that there was something special about her. Now I know what it is--she is a soulmate.
Rona--I am crying now because I feel so understood. "Intimacy without obligation: the introvert’s dream arrangement." Ah--that explains so much that I have questioned about my friendships in life. I've also called myself a Nobody, although I'm careful not to say that in public because, of course, we are all "Somebody," as I'm often reminded. The "brand" (oh how I hated that word at first) that has evolved for me as a writer is "I'm like you." By that I mean, I'm not wealthy or famous or well-connected or skinny or particularly successful. I would have been one of those women making my way to you in the ballroom to seek safety and comfort in your presence. I feel that now--comfort in being seen. Thank you.
Beyonders, I’d like you to know this essay began as an outtake from my book, STARTER DOG. I had no idea where to put it so decided to kill the darling. What I really didn’t know, until Jane gave it her wise editorial scrutiny, is what it was trying to tell me. She encouraged me to listen to the story instead of trying to impose my will on it (my words, not hers). I now see how beautifully it would slip into the book. But Jane can’t edit everything, can she?
Oh, gosh, Rona, thank you for your kind words. They mean so much! The heart of your story was there. I just offered a nudge or two. It's such a gorgeous essay! So happy to have it as a part of Beyond.
This is so beautiful and tender. Belonging is a subject close to my heart as a fellow shy girl who struggled for connection in the schoolyard. These days my heart belongs to two black kitties 🖤🖤
This is just gorgeous! I love the power of animals to bridge human divides. Also, Maynard's language is just remarkable--often unexpected and perfect: the dog's throat, "it was many misfortunes ago"...and the silence at the end. Thank you for sharing this!
I'm so glad I made the time for this this morning. It is profound and moving in its expression of how a momentary connection between strangers over a seemingly safe subject (pets!) can nudge them to a place of authenticity and non-judgement. Beautiful and evocative. Brava, Rona!
I went to a party with my former husband and got talking with a woman I hadn’t met before. We talked and danced for hours. At 2am I told her I’d better go get my husband (saying his name for the first time). My new friend said,’omg, YOU are the nagging wife?’. I had found out my nickname and realised what he had told ppl about me to deflect his own alcohol dependence. He always ended the night hardly knowing his own name and picking a fight with anyone (he would literally become blind drunk. He joined AA with 2/52 of me leaving him. I’m still friends with the woman from the party
I can totally relate to this account of being in a relationship and having life throw changes at you that challenge your union! (I have been with my husband since 1988 and we both had to cope when a serious pregnancy complication gave me a stroke and ruptured my liver. )
Stroke recovery has meant having to work hard at rebuilding a life—-and a marriage—-that I loved. The power balance of our union used to be 50/50 but now it’s more like 80/20—with me feeling like I have only 20% control over decisions that affect both of us.
And my husband is a GOOD guy who stuck with me through the worst of it—-even when his mother predicted (preferred?) he walk away from me!
Wow, Lisa, I'm so sorry, you've lived through so much! I understand the frustrations of diminished capacity. It's so hard. I'm so glad you and your husband are finding new ways to be in relationship.
Absolutely beautiful story, such delicate prose. I have a heart dog, she is gone now and like Kenneth, many came and went before her, but Fifi was special. She was my best friend and I loved her dearly. I miss her terribly; she was the sweet soul of our home and sometimes I catch a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye and I know she is still with me.
Stunning. And this moment of witnessing, pure and true. Thanks, Rona💕 “I could be the one he needed when a memory unmoored him and left him Nobody too. I accepted what he offered, the gift of witnessing his love. He didn’t wipe his tears. I didn’t look away.”
I love those lines, too!
Wow. This is the best essay I've read in many moons. It's so deeply human, touching on so many things both wonderful and painful about living in a world as/with Somebodies and Nobodies. And of course how dogs have the natural gift of leveling the playing field for humanity.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! It's extraordinary how much Rona captures here.
Thanks so much.
Such a beautiful essay. It feels like we're carefully making our way on rocks across a stream -- each step is balanced and tested until proven solid. Of course I was rooting for the narrator and her story, but also somehow rooting for Kenneth. What a lovely reminder of the beauty of being a nobody and that even somebodys have soft, unprotected nobodys deep inside.
Oh, Kate, yes! I agree with every word. Beautifully, beautiful put!
I am one of those who discovered Rona's poignant, beautiful writing and rare insight in the short essays on life that she posts on social media. As a confirmed crazy cat person, I always felt left out of the devout dog lovers' conversations, but all the deeper sentiments ring just as true. So touched to read this essay; thank you for sharing it.
I'm a confirmed crazy cat person, too! Though also dogs! I'm glad this one touched your heart. There are definitely also "heart cats"! Or bunnies. Or mice. Et cetera. (If you have a cat essay up your sleeve, please let me know!)
ok Jane, will do. You may remember me as the person who wrote to you about my memoir, Paris Blue. You kindly said to perhaps send in an excerpt which I have yet to do. I have never even considered writing about my intense love of cats - I have another career as a classical musician and curator of concerts, so it doesn't occur to me to write essays of this type! But you have planted this seed and I may take you up on it :) thank you!! Wish I could post my favorite photos or videos of Daphne (my cat) playing ping-pong with me. I just posted on instagram a video of Chloe (her sister) making an entrance onto our window sill when, during the pandemic, we played Music in the Window.
Julie, cats can also release profound love that defies the power of speech. They don’t bring people together as dogs do during walks, but maybe that’s part of their gift--the intimacy of sgaring a loved space with your cat.
Yes!
Absolutely true. Cats look into your eyes and wait for the slow blink to be returned which tells them you are in tune with them and their love.
Oh, yes, I do remember! And what lovely kitties!
Jane- thank you for sharing Rona's essay. I knew from her social media posts and her comments on my posts that there was something special about her. Now I know what it is--she is a soulmate.
I'm so glad you feel that, Karen. I feel the same!
Jane, thank you for editorial wisdom. You took an outtake from my book and saw where it could go.
Oh, gosh, thanks, Rona! It's such a gorgeous piece. I'm so happy to share it with the world!
Rona--I am crying now because I feel so understood. "Intimacy without obligation: the introvert’s dream arrangement." Ah--that explains so much that I have questioned about my friendships in life. I've also called myself a Nobody, although I'm careful not to say that in public because, of course, we are all "Somebody," as I'm often reminded. The "brand" (oh how I hated that word at first) that has evolved for me as a writer is "I'm like you." By that I mean, I'm not wealthy or famous or well-connected or skinny or particularly successful. I would have been one of those women making my way to you in the ballroom to seek safety and comfort in your presence. I feel that now--comfort in being seen. Thank you.
It's amazing how many complexities of the human experience Rona captures in this essay! Plus: dogs!
Beyonders, I’d like you to know this essay began as an outtake from my book, STARTER DOG. I had no idea where to put it so decided to kill the darling. What I really didn’t know, until Jane gave it her wise editorial scrutiny, is what it was trying to tell me. She encouraged me to listen to the story instead of trying to impose my will on it (my words, not hers). I now see how beautifully it would slip into the book. But Jane can’t edit everything, can she?
Oh, gosh, Rona, thank you for your kind words. They mean so much! The heart of your story was there. I just offered a nudge or two. It's such a gorgeous essay! So happy to have it as a part of Beyond.
This is so beautiful and tender. Belonging is a subject close to my heart as a fellow shy girl who struggled for connection in the schoolyard. These days my heart belongs to two black kitties 🖤🖤
Fellow shy girl here whose heart also belongs to a kitty...and a dog! I'm glad we have these precious connections now!
This is just gorgeous! I love the power of animals to bridge human divides. Also, Maynard's language is just remarkable--often unexpected and perfect: the dog's throat, "it was many misfortunes ago"...and the silence at the end. Thank you for sharing this!
Isn't Rona's writing incredible? So restrained...and yet so dang potent! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I'm so glad I made the time for this this morning. It is profound and moving in its expression of how a momentary connection between strangers over a seemingly safe subject (pets!) can nudge them to a place of authenticity and non-judgement. Beautiful and evocative. Brava, Rona!
Beautifully put, Michéle! I agree.
Agreed! It's the sign of a master writer. Nobody schmobody. lol.
Your essay was so beautifully written and really resonated; both with me and the person who sent it to me. Thank you fir sharing it
Thank you, Angela! ❤️
I went to a party with my former husband and got talking with a woman I hadn’t met before. We talked and danced for hours. At 2am I told her I’d better go get my husband (saying his name for the first time). My new friend said,’omg, YOU are the nagging wife?’. I had found out my nickname and realised what he had told ppl about me to deflect his own alcohol dependence. He always ended the night hardly knowing his own name and picking a fight with anyone (he would literally become blind drunk. He joined AA with 2/52 of me leaving him. I’m still friends with the woman from the party
Hah! Thanks for sharing this story! Sounds like you have an essay in there!
Beautiful. I can still believe in us. What makes us human and part of the world. Thank you!
Yes, I agree. Dogs (and kitties!) give me hope! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you Jane!
I can totally relate to this account of being in a relationship and having life throw changes at you that challenge your union! (I have been with my husband since 1988 and we both had to cope when a serious pregnancy complication gave me a stroke and ruptured my liver. )
Stroke recovery has meant having to work hard at rebuilding a life—-and a marriage—-that I loved. The power balance of our union used to be 50/50 but now it’s more like 80/20—with me feeling like I have only 20% control over decisions that affect both of us.
And my husband is a GOOD guy who stuck with me through the worst of it—-even when his mother predicted (preferred?) he walk away from me!
So thank you for this essay because I can completely relate!
Thank you for reading it!
Wow, Lisa, I'm so sorry, you've lived through so much! I understand the frustrations of diminished capacity. It's so hard. I'm so glad you and your husband are finding new ways to be in relationship.
Thanks!
Absolutely beautiful story, such delicate prose. I have a heart dog, she is gone now and like Kenneth, many came and went before her, but Fifi was special. She was my best friend and I loved her dearly. I miss her terribly; she was the sweet soul of our home and sometimes I catch a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye and I know she is still with me.
Oh, that's lovely, Louise. I'm glad Fifi is still with you. And, yes, delicate prose! Well put.