25 Comments

This struck a chord with me: "when you soften, and centre, and come more into yourself, your body fills out. It needs to, as it needs more space to breathe." My body has gone the other way and there is less of me, as I must need less now than 10 years ago at age 76. This aging process is fascinating and I am grateful to be an active participant, making notes along the way...

Expand full comment
author

Yes, I was struck by that, as well! And, like you, I tend more toward the other way! Yes, we are lucky to still be here taking notes!

Expand full comment

The data suggest that our metabolisms don't really start to decline again until after age 60. The slowdown is gradual, only 0.7% a year. But a person in their 90s needs 26% fewer calories each day than someone in midlife. IF all continues to go well, I will pass 87 in June, so I need fewer calories and am lucky to eat as much and whatever I want with no apparent downside.

Expand full comment
author

Well, that's wonderful news! Come on 87!!

Expand full comment

Tanizaki is a sound choice. A fascinating writer.

Expand full comment
author

I've not read their work, but now my curiosity is piqued!

Expand full comment

I can especially recommend The Makioka Sisters (1936). A wonderful novel.

Expand full comment
founding

My three children, now all in their thirties, have been central to my life and to my marriage. And I have a natural desire to see my children become parents themselves. One has, giving us a one year old grandson.

Yet, I think it would be the height of arrogance to assume that having children was the right decision for everyone, just because it turned out to be right for our family. As well, we are granted blissful ignorance on counterfactuals regarding our life choices so I have no way of knowing what my life would be like without children.

I'd like to think that if my two other children decided not to have children, for whatever reason, I'd respect and support their choice.

Expand full comment
author

I love what you wrote, David. And I agree! This is especially wonderful: "we are granted blissful ignorance on counterfactuals regarding our life choices" Congratulations on your grandson!

Expand full comment
Dec 3, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Loved Thornbirds. And Sharon’s biography - did you know that she contributed to Leo Dicaprios career success? I also enjoyed listening to her on Bruce Bozzi’s podcast. Love your head & heart answer Farrah ✨

Expand full comment
author

I loved that answer, too! Farrah might know about SS, but I didn't! Another reason to appreciate her! Thanks, Galina!

Expand full comment
Dec 4, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Thank you Jane for putting Farrah in the spotlight. As to SS, it’s interesting how we might have one perception of people, then read their biography & view them a bit differently. Matthew Perry’s biography is probably the best example of turning things on the head…

Expand full comment

I am always so amazed in each interview you have realized your guest who she is. This time was Farrah. I love it! I was touched by Greta's words that Farrah quoted. Thank you!

Expand full comment
author

I loved Greta's words, as well! Thanks, Kyomi!

Expand full comment

Children or no children—and how do you feel about your decision? Great question and so like an interviewer to ask: Children. Two. Best and worst decision of my life. Best, because now I know love and family and care and how it all creates character, worst because I wasn't wise until they were grown and gone and now, well, now there are too many regrets. Plus, the worry about what life will do to them...so, there you have it.

Expand full comment
author

Ooooh, Jennifer, I don't have children, but I feel like what you share here describes so many parents I know. For about a decade, I did co-parents my friend's two little girls (and I mean really-really co-parent) and I'd often think, "Well, I wonder how much and in what way I fucked them up today?" So I have a small sense of that level of responsibility. And, yes, I can imagine the worry you must carry in this world of ours. But I know your children must be grounded and capable and smart and kind with you as their mama, so the odds are in their favor!

Expand full comment
Nov 28, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Lovely, as usual. Sometimes not having kids is the right answer!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! And, yes. ❤️

Expand full comment

It's always interesting to read what Farrah is reading and learn that she's adored "The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton. I read that book for school, and it also left a lasting impression on me. Thanks for sharing.

Expand full comment
author

I know, I love getting these sort of peeks into writers' minds! I've yet to read The Outsiders. I loved the movie--so maybe it's time, at last! Glad you enjoyed the interview!

Expand full comment

So honoured to be mentioned here. Thank you Jane for this wonderful interview with Farrah Storr.

Expand full comment
author

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Greta! And what you wrote is so beautiful and potent. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

Expand full comment

"They take me out of my head and into the land " Love this. The buddhist say the mind is in the heart! And I think birds and land remind us of that! To be mindful is to be heartful. Empathy - YES! We need more empathy in our world, across the many divides! When it's hardest, we need to practice it the most. <3 Thanks for sharing a lovely interview, Jane!

Expand full comment
author

Yes to every word. And I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Alicia!

Expand full comment

<3 <3 Love to you

Expand full comment