52 Comments

The excerpt from Maria's memoir literally took my breath away. I realized I had stopped breathing when I got to the end. Her ability to capture the small details--the dog's scarf, the sound of the waves, the feel of the sand under her cheek--is part of what makes her writing so powerful. Thank you for this introduction to her writing.

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I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Susan! Yes, Maria's exquisite precision is astounding. If you read the memoir, let me know what you think!

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Will do, Jane. And thanks again for introducing me to Maria's writing!

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Hi Susan, I'm really touched that you appreciated those details. I hope you get to read the rest of Instead!

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It's on my to-read list. (Which I have to confess is long. But select too.) Thank you for writing Instead.

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Jan 25Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

'Clawing at the ocean' is so vivid and desperate. A friend of mine drowned, perhaps deliberately, at night on a beach on Cape Cod (his clothing was found along the shore). He wrote a very haunting ballad about how 'the Goddess of the Universe is generous.' His music was anguished and rolled over the listener in waves. Not long after his death, the mournful melody was removed from his social media site permanently. It was like he drowned twice, once in the ocean, and again in silence. Maria's beautiful essay reanimated this memory for me. Thank you for sharing her powerful piece.

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Oh, Priscilla, that's a lot. How heartbreaking. I'm glad Maria's piece brought your friend back to you. I hope in a peaceful way. ❤️

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I'm so sorry about your friend, Priscella. What an awful loss. Thank you for sharing this story. I hope my piece gave you a little solace.

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Wow! This is so compelling, brave and beautiful. I think I just read it holding my breath, with my hand on my heart.

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That sounds about right! Glad you enjoyed it, Vicki!

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Thank you so much, Vicki. Your comment means the world to me. x

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My goodness me! This is spectacular writing. I was choking and gagging as I read her words, totally immersed in the terror of the experience. Can’t wait to read the book!

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I know! You feel Maria's words in your body, right?! Let me know what you think of the book!!

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Thank you so much! I do hope you enjoy the rest of the book.

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I’m sure I will.

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I've almost drowned as well in the ocean and her description is TRUE. The burning sensation of the water in your lungs... god it hurts like nothing else. The terror. It's not at all peaceful. Glad we both survived.

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That must have been so terrifying! Amazing how many people in this thread almost drowned! Yes, so glad you both survived!

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Hi Toby, I'm sorry you went through that too! It sounds like a lot of people have also said to you, "Oh, but drowning is a peaceful way to die." To which I always say, NO, it's not! I'd be interested to know how the experience affected you, and the choices you subsequently made in your life.

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I grew up in Hawaii and have been a surfer since I was a girl. I almost drowned in big surf at Hanalei by being hit on the head with my board (teens) and again as a thirtysomething surfing Hookipa on a big day, I was caught inside on a sneaker set. That time I almost blacked out and washed up on the rocks. Came to vomiting up seawater...my husband was with me surfing and could do nothing to help. Drowning is a lonely experience... I am still a lover of water and the ocean; but I respect the hell out of Her. These experiences have increased my caution and drilled in the necessity of remaining calm and relaxing into the experience rather than fighting it. I will also not jump in to save another unless I have a flotation device. Drowning people can take you down faster than a rip.

It's amazing that you had an opportunity to go back to that remote spot and heal yourself! I went on to be a therapist and writer and believe in our resilience to recover from trauma. It's one of my main areas to write about in both fiction and memoir.

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Wow, Toby, what stories....and what those experiences taught you, and how you are using those lessons to help others. Kudos all round. Two sentences really jumped out for me. ."Drowning is a lonely experience..." and..."Drowning people can take you done faster than a rip." I didn't share this in Instead, but someone did try to save me. A young man who had also been caught in the rip, but was a strong swimmer, swam out to me. I was in the utter-panic stage and grabbed onto him like a wild animal. He shook me off, pushed me away, said, "I'm sorry, I can't help you," turned and headed for shore. That was one of the loneliness moments, seeing him swim away. Later, when I was recovering in the village, he visited me to apologize. I told him I didn't blame him. He did the right thing.

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Maria, in my opinion you could, and should include that piece of the story. It's loaded with emotion and important information. If more people understood the dangers of a drowning victim, and potentially how to help them most effectively, maybe a life could be saved.

I have had lifeguard training, and it's possible to help a drowning victim by grabbing their hair and towing them. If they're fighting too hard, and grabbing your armor hand, though, it's unsafe for everyone in Hawaii. We have many, many fatalities every year from people jumping in to help without knowing how to manage the victims. Everyone dies then.

Come to think of it, I've never written about this myself. Maybe it just felt too dark and loaded. But it resonates, and when it does, it's time to pay attention.

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Jan 18Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

My stomach is turning a little, because I also, in my twenties, and on a beach in Agadir or Tagazout, almost drowned. Mindlessly, utterly terrifying being taken by a rip tide (and I’d been on swim teams for years).

For years I didn’t think about it, until with friends swimming in a pond a few years ago I suddenly panicked when I was 30 meters from the shore and had to breathe carefully to get back to land. Now I don’t swim anywhere deep. How strange that my and Maria’s experiences were so close together geographically... A little haunting to read.

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Oh my goodness, Susan, how terrifying. I'm glad you're okay! It's interesting how our minds can block these memories and then suddenly, bam, they're with us again. I have my equivalents of that. And once they're back, best to honor them!

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I body surfed , scuba dive and now no more ocean swimming after two times rip tide took me out to sea and I tried to not fight the flow, r eventually reached the shore with the hand of a woman that pulled me from waves. Body surfing a huge wave pulled me under. Did’t know which way was up. I rolled into a ball. Discovered that I was rising to the surface and once on top reached the shore.

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Susan, this is incredible. The parallels! Morocco, rip tides, both of us in our twenties. I'm interested that you were hit by that panic years later. Had you been swimming much in between those times? In my memoir I describe how I eventually overcame my fear of deep water. I think we need to share stories.....

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Jan 22Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

And yes, what strange parallels!

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Jan 22Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Hi, Maria! I had swum in the meantime but I guess always close enough to shore that my toes could touch the bottom. And one day I was swimming enthusiastically to the middle of a pond when the panic hit. I’ll need to read your memoir!

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I hope you enjoy it!

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How many tunnels have been seen as the body rises to the light? Breaks the surface and is resurrected by a savior blowing air into the mouth . Untold stories drowning in cold waters. You go with the flow and don’t resist. Then you wonder why you were granted another chance. To continue life there must be a reason. To save another or take foolish chance defying death-knocks on the door. I still am here when the water Drew’s my body to the muddy bottom of an Adirondack lake. But I returned to this illusion world of mayas d learned to swim, to compete yet every day and still have no answers why I didn’t die. This is not the first time.

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You have really been through it, Richard! It's interesting, that, like Susan you later ran into trouble in a lake. I find fresh water swimming a bit spooky, because of the lack of buoyancy. I hope you swim without mishap from now on.

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I drowned in lake about 4 yrs old. Was comfortable wearing a face mask and swimming underwater. Did learn to swim. Eventually in competition. I free dove many times to about 50 feet in a Maine lake, could not see the bottom until my hands plunged into mud. I can still hold my breath and slowly release to lie on the bottom of a pool. Feel very comfortable and one with water in a meditation state that is totally quiet and if I could breathe hold breath longer I’d stay there much longer.

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I'm glad you're still here, Richard! It is hard (impossible) to know why we're spared.

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What a lesson of descriptive writing with varied sentence structure & colorful words to not only let readers see, but also feel her near drowning. Maria Coffey’s example of catastrophic experience makes me think of my own near death after a car accident left me with multiple broken bones, cuts & comatose for 3 1/2 weeks. Gives me courage to start writing about something life-changing that happened 47 years ago!

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Firstly, whoa, I'm so glad you're okay, Jeannie. How terrifying. I agree with every word you wrote about Maria's beautiful prose. And I'm glad it's inspiring you to write about your own experiences!

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Thank you for this kind comment, Jeannie, I really appreciate it. I'm glad my words are giving you courage to write about your accident, and how it changed your life.

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"t was a knowledge that would impel me to chase my dreams and inform the biggest choices I was to make in the years ahead." Boom! We're fortunate to be the beneficiaries of Maria's death and rebirth and now I look forward to reading her memoir. We all navigate our adventures and experiences the best we and sometimes we depend on the help of others to sustain our life to the next step or stage.

For all my experiences and for those that have given me the grace to continue a full and active life, I remain enormously grateful, and glad to be here. And that is more than enough for today. Thanks, Jane and thank you, Maria for sharing!

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Thank YOU, Gary, for these lovely words and sentiments. Like you, I am 'glad and grateful to be here.' And grateful to Jane for bringing my work to Beyond.

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That's so beautiful put: We are fortunate to be the beneficiaries of Maria's death and rebirth! And, yes, so often depending on others. I'm grateful you're here, too, Gary! ❤️

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<SMILE> : - ) Thanks, Jane.

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Such a vivid description of a near-drowning experience. Especially as someone who once nearly drowned in the Mediterranean, I felt like I was right there when I was reading it.

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Oh my goodness, Tanya! I'm glad you're okay! And, yes, Maria's writing is exquisitely vivid. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

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Oh, I'm so sorry you went through that too, Tanya. I hope it hasn't stopped you loving the sea. It took me a while to get over my fears, but now salt water swimming is really important

in my life, something that always balances me.

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It hasn't. I still love the sea. But I don't go in deeper than my height, at least not in the Mediterranean. That's ok. It's not the most friendly see to swim in anyway. I'm glad you found a way to enjoy salt water again!

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And I'm glad you're still swimming! I spend half of each year in a village not far from the Med. Luckily there are some nice protected coves where I can swim and feel safe.

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Wept.

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Aw! Such high praise! ❤️

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Ah, I'm touched!

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Jan 18Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Incredible excerpt from Maria Coffey's memoir. The reader is right there with her as she so eloquently relives that horrifying near death moment. It's a powerful piece. Thanks for sharing this.

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Yes, I agree, the prose is absolutely riveting! I'm glad you enjoyed it, Jeanine!

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Thank you, Jeanine! I really appreciate your kind comment.

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This made me catch my breath, and left me in tears. Just ordered Instead. Thank you for sharing 🤍

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Thank you so much for ordering the book, Ally! Do let me know what you think about it.

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