This one resonated with me like a gong. I live in Minnesota where the Boundary Waters and beyond are on fire and air quality is awful. We just signed our lives away for windows yesterday (and if it makes you feel any better, we are older than you. I literally thought while signing, “I wonder what happens if I die before this is paid off.”) But I walked out onto our back patio this morning and saw the hydrangea blooming like there is a party. I guess we keep going.
Oh my gosh, Tami, yes to all of this! And I love the thought of hydrangeas having a party!! Yes, yes, yes! I know Minnesota also has been hit hard. Oof. Sorry you're going through it, too. And windows!! WTF?!? 🙀
Thank you Jane for articulating the paradoxes of this summer, and our lives in general as we navigate the polycrisis. I find a strange dissonance in my experience…on the one hand having just moved to Scotland where it is cooler and wetter, and on the other listening to friends across the rest of the UK complain about the heat. And on one hand seeing the rise of Far Right ideology across the UK, US and wider world…and on the other marvelling and feeling grateful for the gestures of love, kindness and solidarity shown in the small town I find myself in, where I barely know anyone. I love your reminders to keep finding what is hopeful and nourishing outside, even whilst we acknowledge and grieve the suffering all around us.
Oooooh, Sacred, this is all so beautifully put!! Thank you for sharing all this. And Scotland!! What part? I can feel your experience in my bones. It's a heartbreaking time to be alive. And yet there is still so much magnificence! xx
I am in Kirkcudbright in Galloway, on the southwest of Scotland. I was drawn here to connect more deeply with nature, with community and with my Celtic roots. It feels like now is such an essential time to find where we truly belong. I look forward to continuing to read the beautiful ways to speak into this.
I read your beautiful essay yesterday morning. I wanted to respond but didn't have the words to accompany the feeling in my heart. So I went about my day. I woke up this morning at the perimenopausal hour of 2am. I realized there was no hope in sleep returning (I normally get up at 4am), so I got up and sat with tea and notebook. And this is when I noticed a fly in my glass of water. I put my finger in and scooped her up. I thought she was dead. But one leg moved. I let her sit on my warm finger. Slowly another leg moved. Then with both front legs, she started to dry her head. Over the coming 20 minutes or so, she dried off all the other parts of her tiny body, but one of the two wings wasn't working as well as one of her back legs. And I realized her end may be coming. I got a postcard with an image of Buddha on it, gently eased her onto it to let the holy beings bless her, then put her under the warm lamp. I've been saying occasional mantras. Then I felt like responding to your essay. Because the feeling I was trying to put my finger on yesterday came up from my heart via this tiny being. And I think she's telling us to practice loving kindness in every moment we possibly can. To not be blind to the suffering of every living being around us. To not look away. And whenever we can, to lift them up. And when we can't stop their drowning, we sit by their side and pray. Maybe peace will grow from countless tiny actions like these. X
First of all, it began as an essay about how for ages now, I don't have the words for the feelings in my heart! But those paragraphs were hard to clearly articulate and I cut them! And now you've said that very thing!
Secondly, I was contemplating writing an essay about how I spend a portion of each day rescuing insects from outdoor water bowls and sometimes the bird bath. I once just automatically did it at a friend's house and he thought I was some kind of bodhisattva. Haha. I was puzzling out if that was enough to sustain an essay and now you've shared your beautiful story: a fly saved by you and the Buddha, no less! Did she survive?
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. You've touched my heart!! ❤️
Oh fascinating! Your cut paragraphs seemed to still linger in the essay, there was something unsaid bubbling below it. And the second essay is a great idea. I agree with your friend, those are a Bodhisattva's activities. The Perfection of Giving, "giving fearlessness," rescuing lives or giving people confidence.
The fly -- I now realize i didn't use the right word. She was more like a miniature moth. But she was so small I needed to use the word fly. She had gone by the morning! Wasn't on or under the desk, so that wing seemed to come back into action. I am also rethinking my final point about tiny actions changing the world. From the fly/moth's perspective, that action was actually huge.
I felt this in my bones. I too am having an okay summer the same way. So many beautiful things, and yet the echo of what is coming is terrifying in all moments, and we can scream and shout and fight but the ones with power have already decided we will all burn.
Two things caught me as I read this essay just now. The boys -- their bikes, their tight tough chests, and their little boy readiness to fall for Delilah (who, by the way, is majestic even if she hates her crown). The other thing: Claudia Rankine who sees the world like no other and loves it in spite of itself.
This was a lovely meditation to come upon -- not a day goes by when I don't struggle against the dark side of humanity and what we have wrought but, at the same time, am confronted with at least one or two small beautiful moments or things that shine through. I realize it's been over a week since it was published and things may have shifted even more in your world. If they have, I hope the gems still glimmer amid the dark stuff.
Thank you for these incredibly kind words, Elizabeth. They touched my heart.
And, yes, there are usually (at least!) a handful of beautiful moments and things. I do my best to align with them. Sometimes failing. Hah. I get the new windows on Wednesday!
Practicing German and preparing for my second B2 German exam fills most of my days and weeks (I'm sure that when I take my B2 exam three weeks from now on Aug 21st, I won't feel totally free to do literally ANYTHING I want). Sometimes my parents and I go to our villa-garden near where I live. As much as I want to stay there for as long as I want, I can't do so, because sadly I'm a city girl. And about being in the world these days, I wanna say that most days I can get up in the morning, go about my day, and sleep at night feeling satisfied, but some days, I just wanna hit the bed because I think only in sleep I can be free of so many awful things I've experienced or heard that day.
I like everything about this post -- about the leaky windows, your dog's uncertainty about the crown, the Joni Mitchell quote that I love. Thank you for this.
Windows and any other home repair/remodel event....outrageous prices and annoying process! I just had windows installed this month. The noise reduction is immediately noticeable. I hope I see a reduction in my electricity bill (another outrageous cost) to offset the window cost. Hope you can enjoy your new windows. Assume you also have a good air purifier inside. It helps.
Overall, goodness gracious, haven't we had enough of all the troubles! Weary from it all.
It seems so many of us are in the throes of window replacement! Happy to hear about the noise reduction. Mine arrive in eleven days! Also hoping for reduction in my bills.
The windows… 🪟 Yes, so many layers within this piece dear Jane. May they offer both a view and protection. I adore Joni, and this too is the version that speaks to me. I sense we desperately need to tend faithfully to our inner gardens so that we may share them with our communities. Just as you do. A tender and curator of what matters. My gratitude. Oh, and the newer windows are so much easier to keep clean I have discovered. Heartfelt hugs. 🪴💜🐾
Oh, I love that: a view and protection! I changed the subtitle but for some reason SS posted an earlier iteration and even though I've changed it back, it's only showing up in some places, not others. Because you're right, the windows are not only about protection.
And yes to our inner gardens! Beautiful.
I am excited for the new windows. Twelve more days!
This one resonated with me like a gong. I live in Minnesota where the Boundary Waters and beyond are on fire and air quality is awful. We just signed our lives away for windows yesterday (and if it makes you feel any better, we are older than you. I literally thought while signing, “I wonder what happens if I die before this is paid off.”) But I walked out onto our back patio this morning and saw the hydrangea blooming like there is a party. I guess we keep going.
Oh my gosh, Tami, yes to all of this! And I love the thought of hydrangeas having a party!! Yes, yes, yes! I know Minnesota also has been hit hard. Oof. Sorry you're going through it, too. And windows!! WTF?!? 🙀
Thank you Jane for articulating the paradoxes of this summer, and our lives in general as we navigate the polycrisis. I find a strange dissonance in my experience…on the one hand having just moved to Scotland where it is cooler and wetter, and on the other listening to friends across the rest of the UK complain about the heat. And on one hand seeing the rise of Far Right ideology across the UK, US and wider world…and on the other marvelling and feeling grateful for the gestures of love, kindness and solidarity shown in the small town I find myself in, where I barely know anyone. I love your reminders to keep finding what is hopeful and nourishing outside, even whilst we acknowledge and grieve the suffering all around us.
Oooooh, Sacred, this is all so beautifully put!! Thank you for sharing all this. And Scotland!! What part? I can feel your experience in my bones. It's a heartbreaking time to be alive. And yet there is still so much magnificence! xx
I am in Kirkcudbright in Galloway, on the southwest of Scotland. I was drawn here to connect more deeply with nature, with community and with my Celtic roots. It feels like now is such an essential time to find where we truly belong. I look forward to continuing to read the beautiful ways to speak into this.
How lovely! I agree about now being essential to find where we truly belong. I hope Kirkcudbright proves to be a homecoming!
I read your beautiful essay yesterday morning. I wanted to respond but didn't have the words to accompany the feeling in my heart. So I went about my day. I woke up this morning at the perimenopausal hour of 2am. I realized there was no hope in sleep returning (I normally get up at 4am), so I got up and sat with tea and notebook. And this is when I noticed a fly in my glass of water. I put my finger in and scooped her up. I thought she was dead. But one leg moved. I let her sit on my warm finger. Slowly another leg moved. Then with both front legs, she started to dry her head. Over the coming 20 minutes or so, she dried off all the other parts of her tiny body, but one of the two wings wasn't working as well as one of her back legs. And I realized her end may be coming. I got a postcard with an image of Buddha on it, gently eased her onto it to let the holy beings bless her, then put her under the warm lamp. I've been saying occasional mantras. Then I felt like responding to your essay. Because the feeling I was trying to put my finger on yesterday came up from my heart via this tiny being. And I think she's telling us to practice loving kindness in every moment we possibly can. To not be blind to the suffering of every living being around us. To not look away. And whenever we can, to lift them up. And when we can't stop their drowning, we sit by their side and pray. Maybe peace will grow from countless tiny actions like these. X
Oh my gosh, Clare, thank you for writing this.
First of all, it began as an essay about how for ages now, I don't have the words for the feelings in my heart! But those paragraphs were hard to clearly articulate and I cut them! And now you've said that very thing!
Secondly, I was contemplating writing an essay about how I spend a portion of each day rescuing insects from outdoor water bowls and sometimes the bird bath. I once just automatically did it at a friend's house and he thought I was some kind of bodhisattva. Haha. I was puzzling out if that was enough to sustain an essay and now you've shared your beautiful story: a fly saved by you and the Buddha, no less! Did she survive?
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. You've touched my heart!! ❤️
Oh fascinating! Your cut paragraphs seemed to still linger in the essay, there was something unsaid bubbling below it. And the second essay is a great idea. I agree with your friend, those are a Bodhisattva's activities. The Perfection of Giving, "giving fearlessness," rescuing lives or giving people confidence.
The fly -- I now realize i didn't use the right word. She was more like a miniature moth. But she was so small I needed to use the word fly. She had gone by the morning! Wasn't on or under the desk, so that wing seemed to come back into action. I am also rethinking my final point about tiny actions changing the world. From the fly/moth's perspective, that action was actually huge.
And we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden 🎶❤️…thank you, Jane
Indeed! Thanks for reading it, Mary! ❤️
I felt this in my bones. I too am having an okay summer the same way. So many beautiful things, and yet the echo of what is coming is terrifying in all moments, and we can scream and shout and fight but the ones with power have already decided we will all burn.
Yes to every word of this! ❤️
This was a heart-achingly gorgeous read. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Oh gosh, thank you so much, Rachael! And thank you for reading! ❤️
Beautiful, Jane.
Thank you, Mary! Thanks for your wise insight, friend. xx
It is a quandary...' to everything there is a season' I'm not particularly liking this one.
Same. xx
Two things caught me as I read this essay just now. The boys -- their bikes, their tight tough chests, and their little boy readiness to fall for Delilah (who, by the way, is majestic even if she hates her crown). The other thing: Claudia Rankine who sees the world like no other and loves it in spite of itself.
This was a lovely meditation to come upon -- not a day goes by when I don't struggle against the dark side of humanity and what we have wrought but, at the same time, am confronted with at least one or two small beautiful moments or things that shine through. I realize it's been over a week since it was published and things may have shifted even more in your world. If they have, I hope the gems still glimmer amid the dark stuff.
Thank you for these incredibly kind words, Elizabeth. They touched my heart.
And, yes, there are usually (at least!) a handful of beautiful moments and things. I do my best to align with them. Sometimes failing. Hah. I get the new windows on Wednesday!
Practicing German and preparing for my second B2 German exam fills most of my days and weeks (I'm sure that when I take my B2 exam three weeks from now on Aug 21st, I won't feel totally free to do literally ANYTHING I want). Sometimes my parents and I go to our villa-garden near where I live. As much as I want to stay there for as long as I want, I can't do so, because sadly I'm a city girl. And about being in the world these days, I wanna say that most days I can get up in the morning, go about my day, and sleep at night feeling satisfied, but some days, I just wanna hit the bed because I think only in sleep I can be free of so many awful things I've experienced or heard that day.
Oh, Negar, I appreciate your words so very much. Sending love. ❤️
Thanks so much for understanding me, Jane. Your loving existence in this world is very worthwhile. ❤️
Oh gosh, thank you, Negar. Same. ❤️
❤️
I like everything about this post -- about the leaky windows, your dog's uncertainty about the crown, the Joni Mitchell quote that I love. Thank you for this.
Thank you, John! Your comment put the biggest smile on my face!
Thanks for sharing what, in many ways, we are all feeling but haven't put into words.
Thank you, Paulette! And so true, so many of us are in this same place.
Windows and any other home repair/remodel event....outrageous prices and annoying process! I just had windows installed this month. The noise reduction is immediately noticeable. I hope I see a reduction in my electricity bill (another outrageous cost) to offset the window cost. Hope you can enjoy your new windows. Assume you also have a good air purifier inside. It helps.
Overall, goodness gracious, haven't we had enough of all the troubles! Weary from it all.
It seems so many of us are in the throes of window replacement! Happy to hear about the noise reduction. Mine arrive in eleven days! Also hoping for reduction in my bills.
And, yes, enough! So weary! xx
The windows… 🪟 Yes, so many layers within this piece dear Jane. May they offer both a view and protection. I adore Joni, and this too is the version that speaks to me. I sense we desperately need to tend faithfully to our inner gardens so that we may share them with our communities. Just as you do. A tender and curator of what matters. My gratitude. Oh, and the newer windows are so much easier to keep clean I have discovered. Heartfelt hugs. 🪴💜🐾
Oh, I love that: a view and protection! I changed the subtitle but for some reason SS posted an earlier iteration and even though I've changed it back, it's only showing up in some places, not others. Because you're right, the windows are not only about protection.
And yes to our inner gardens! Beautiful.
I am excited for the new windows. Twelve more days!