Wonderful post that really resonated. In my case I try to 'choose kangaroos'. I see them on my early morning walk every day and they never fail to make me smile. When things often get me anxious, I will try to focus on the wildlife elements of my life, rather than the stressful parts.
Oh, how wonderful!! I have quite a few Australian cousins and when they visit, they say our squirrels are like your kangaroos in the sense that they are everywhere and adorable! Yes, turning out attention to nature is so healing. I hope one day I don't even need to make the choice!!
Jane, i feel so seen - thank you, I loved this post.
On so many levels. It felt like the reaction I have when I engage with my mother.
Yesterday my 13 year old son came home to my new husband and I for the holidays. He told me his nonna Maggie ( my mum) was messaging him, I asked to see the messages and as I feared, they were loaded with negativity towards me.
My new husband completely backed me and is going to block her from poisoning this beautiful child.
Ooooh, Boardman, I'm so sorry. It's somehow extra painful when it's from within the family. I'm so glad your husband is your protector! Protector can be so healing for old trauma! I'm happy for you! And, yes, squirrels are the best! 🌷🌷🌷
I wish you could set up an auto-response for when the unkind texter bothers your phone—the squirrel image at the top of your post would pop up in response, fill the screen, no need even to read the unfriendly message.
Due to reasons too personal to include in the essay, it's not possible! Clear boundaries are established. Sometimes they slip. This was one of the slips! Thank you for the kind words, Heidi!
Jane, I needed this today more than you know. I spent most of last night ruminating over something unkind a total stranger said about me and my work and woke up this morning feeling lower than low. But now, thanks to your beautiful essay, I am wiping my hands on my jeans (I love this phrase). Squirrels, Van Gogh...I choose Jane!
Oh, gosh, Cathy, I'm so sorry! It's amazing how deep unkindness can sink. Thank goodness for squirrels!! And thank you for your kind words. I hope today is better for you. xx
That’s a pretty amazing life hack. Things with my cousins couldn’t get worse. We don’t agree on political matters, and one’s a preacher, etc. I think I’ll choose squirrels over their psycho-babble! They’re going on about how green lasers from satellites are what start wildfires in California! I’m not going to poison my mind justifying my life choices to them. So, yes, squirrels it is for me too!
Oooooh, Cabot, that's a lot! Yes, squirrels every day over that! It's so hard not to, at least deep inside my head, engage with that (kind of scary!) nonsense. So some days I am choosing squirrels A LOT until my mind quiets. Thank goodness there are a lot of squirrels in the world!
A lovely post, Jane. Squirrels are sweet little critters (even though I sometimes get mad at them when they dig up and eat the seeds and seedlings I planted in my garden.) I feed them along with the birds and chipmunks, as well as the occasional visit from bunnies, raccoons, a skunk, and opossum. After my trauma 3 years ago, especially that first year, I spent many hours watching the feeders through the window. I loved seeing the baby squirrels creeping around on their own after being kicked out of the nest because a new litter was on the way, they are so cute and very curious. It helped me keep the pain and negativity away. Any time I feel triggered, I go sit by the window with a cup of tea and maybe something to eat and watch.
Thank you, Laura! And, yes, all these beautiful critters can be so healing. I'm glad you have so many in your life and that they've helped you. And, oh my goodness, yes, squirrels can be such buggers, destroying things! Good thing they are so lovely!
It makes me very happy to think of you and your squirrels. So, I am choosing you *and* your squirrels. <3
Related, I've recently taken to turning on the live Feederwatch Cam from Cornell's Lab of Ornithology in the corner of my computer screen. When I start to spin up I focus my attention on it for a few moments to remind myself that whatever is happening in the human world, there is also always, right now, THIS.
How beautiful! I was just talking to my niece about these sorts of bird live feeds. She just had a baby and I'm trying to convince her to set up one of Aidan sleeping!! I mean, not really. But it is lovely to watch him sleep! And also lovely to watch the birds!! So smart to have that in the corner of your screen!! The sounds alone are soothing! And, as always, thank you for your kind words, Asha!
Love this. Exercising choice is such a powerful form of self-compassion, dare I say love. Squirrels are endlessly entertaining, persistent, and playful.
Oh, fellow sensitive and introvert, I see you. I hear you.
I choose squirrels. I choose birds. I choose a friendly green gecko. I choose the Christmas Buddha cactus blooming in April. I choose clouds. I choose water. I choose dog snoots.
Instead of email and chaos, I choose nature everyday.
And I've been delighting in squirrels for as long as I can remember. When I moved here to South Carolina I could not find the squirrels. I theorized it was because the Southern Pines unlike Oaks or Maple trees have slender swaying trunks like brown pipe cleaners with thin branches several feet up. Takes quite a bit of squirrel energy and some mighty sharp squirrel talons to navigate the trees here. And then, two squirrels appeared! I've been feeding them whole peanuts for months now. And lo and behold, just a few weeks ago, baby squirrels appeared playfully flying through the brush like the acrobatic wonders they are! And those fuzzy tails and inquisitive expressions on their tiny furry snoots! Some days if I'm weary I swear they are there just to make eye contact as if to say, hey, it's going to be alright, silly dumpling. They remind me to embrace delight and even frivolity. So, yes, let's keep choosing squirrels, friend. Some of us try so hard to get to enlightenment or liberation. Sometimes it IS easier than we would imagine. These moments of this beautiful messy world and these miracle of mystery bodies are quite capable of experiencing joy and comfort from as Cheryl would say, The Tiny Beautiful Things. Love that one. Keep choosing squirrels, word weaver. And expand into what liberates your being!
Yes! The way I think about this subject, is that the mind is only capable of thinking about one thing at a time. If we can fill that space with a different topic, even if just for a few moments, it breaks the chain of obsessive thinking. Television or squirrels, maybe even jumping jacks, are so helpful. I hope for you a time soon when this particular irritant possesses absolutely no power.
I agree with every word you said, Sue! And thank you for your hope for me! The difference between now and even a year or so ago is profound. But it would be lovely to receive a text and feel absolutely nothing! ❤️
Oh Jane, your opening line flayed my heart. I wanted to reach into this digital space and somehow give you a hug. I wanted to be the kindness you deserve in your life. And here's why, in a nutshell:
I am raising a medically fragile and complex daughter who is twelve. Her name is Sarah, and she was born with a rare craniofacial condition. Throughout her life, she has been labeled ugly, witch, monster, weird, funny face, and scary. She notices gawking and glares everywhere we go.
Our family discusses kindness almost every day. It is a family virtue, I would say, something incredibly important to us to foster and to recognize and appreciate in others.
Kindness is simple. How we treat others matters a great deal. We have the agency to bolster someone's spirits or drag them down. And yes, each of us can choose how we will live and what we will do with the negativity from others, that's true. That's the only power we really have--how we will choose to respond, how we view ourselves and others.
I also think that when each of us makes intentional efforts to spread love and light in the world (not in a woo woo way, but in tangible ways), then things do change. Maybe not globally, but we start small, right? We start in our own homes, then spread into our neighborhoods and communities. We set an intention to respond with compassion in the moments we find ourselves in every day.
And it's a marvel how powerful this practice really is. I have stories upon stories about conversations I've had with grocery store clerks, my endocrinologist's nurse practitioner, my daughter's math teacher, all resulting from a single, fleeting, and deliberate motion towards appreciating and validating the other person in some way. I write about these interactions here on Substack, and every day when I log in, I am flooded with comments from those who tell me how refreshing it is to see good things happening in the world, that it "restores their faith in humanity" (which was a comment I read at least six times this morning).
All this to say, Jane, YOU are a light. Keep being you. Keep showing up every day with a good heart. I am standing with you.
Ooooh, thank you, Jeannie. I so appreciate you and daughter and all your kind words! I agree with absolutely everything you said! And I'm glad you are flooded with those comments. You are also a light! ❤️
Superb, Jane. The perfect pivot from self-destructive habit to one of nature’s most adorable creatures. I choose squirrels too. And dogs. I definitely choose dogs.
This is so wonderful and so relevant right now Jane!!
Thank you, Mary-Mary! ❤️
Wonderful post that really resonated. In my case I try to 'choose kangaroos'. I see them on my early morning walk every day and they never fail to make me smile. When things often get me anxious, I will try to focus on the wildlife elements of my life, rather than the stressful parts.
Oh, how wonderful!! I have quite a few Australian cousins and when they visit, they say our squirrels are like your kangaroos in the sense that they are everywhere and adorable! Yes, turning out attention to nature is so healing. I hope one day I don't even need to make the choice!!
Jane, i feel so seen - thank you, I loved this post.
On so many levels. It felt like the reaction I have when I engage with my mother.
Yesterday my 13 year old son came home to my new husband and I for the holidays. He told me his nonna Maggie ( my mum) was messaging him, I asked to see the messages and as I feared, they were loaded with negativity towards me.
My new husband completely backed me and is going to block her from poisoning this beautiful child.
And squirrels are the best. 🌷🌷🌷
Ooooh, Boardman, I'm so sorry. It's somehow extra painful when it's from within the family. I'm so glad your husband is your protector! Protector can be so healing for old trauma! I'm happy for you! And, yes, squirrels are the best! 🌷🌷🌷
I wish you could set up an auto-response for when the unkind texter bothers your phone—the squirrel image at the top of your post would pop up in response, fill the screen, no need even to read the unfriendly message.
Hah! That's a brilliant idea!
And then block the unkind texter. Is that possible? Hale and be well, and left in peace love from the varicolored squirrels in Massachusetts and me
Due to reasons too personal to include in the essay, it's not possible! Clear boundaries are established. Sometimes they slip. This was one of the slips! Thank you for the kind words, Heidi!
Jane, I needed this today more than you know. I spent most of last night ruminating over something unkind a total stranger said about me and my work and woke up this morning feeling lower than low. But now, thanks to your beautiful essay, I am wiping my hands on my jeans (I love this phrase). Squirrels, Van Gogh...I choose Jane!
Oh, gosh, Cathy, I'm so sorry! It's amazing how deep unkindness can sink. Thank goodness for squirrels!! And thank you for your kind words. I hope today is better for you. xx
So far, so good, Jane!
That’s a pretty amazing life hack. Things with my cousins couldn’t get worse. We don’t agree on political matters, and one’s a preacher, etc. I think I’ll choose squirrels over their psycho-babble! They’re going on about how green lasers from satellites are what start wildfires in California! I’m not going to poison my mind justifying my life choices to them. So, yes, squirrels it is for me too!
Oooooh, Cabot, that's a lot! Yes, squirrels every day over that! It's so hard not to, at least deep inside my head, engage with that (kind of scary!) nonsense. So some days I am choosing squirrels A LOT until my mind quiets. Thank goodness there are a lot of squirrels in the world!
And the other one is a sheriff in Texas! 😜
🙀🐿️🐿️🐿️
Great post. I watch the squirrels in my yard, too! Other joyful distractions include wild rabbits, an occasional coyote, and several species of birds.
Thank you, Sharon! And yes to all of this! Though I have foxes rather than coyotes! All so joyful!!
Squirrels are a joy to watch. And trees are wonderful listeners.
Both so true, George!
A lovely post, Jane. Squirrels are sweet little critters (even though I sometimes get mad at them when they dig up and eat the seeds and seedlings I planted in my garden.) I feed them along with the birds and chipmunks, as well as the occasional visit from bunnies, raccoons, a skunk, and opossum. After my trauma 3 years ago, especially that first year, I spent many hours watching the feeders through the window. I loved seeing the baby squirrels creeping around on their own after being kicked out of the nest because a new litter was on the way, they are so cute and very curious. It helped me keep the pain and negativity away. Any time I feel triggered, I go sit by the window with a cup of tea and maybe something to eat and watch.
Thank you, Laura! And, yes, all these beautiful critters can be so healing. I'm glad you have so many in your life and that they've helped you. And, oh my goodness, yes, squirrels can be such buggers, destroying things! Good thing they are so lovely!
It makes me very happy to think of you and your squirrels. So, I am choosing you *and* your squirrels. <3
Related, I've recently taken to turning on the live Feederwatch Cam from Cornell's Lab of Ornithology in the corner of my computer screen. When I start to spin up I focus my attention on it for a few moments to remind myself that whatever is happening in the human world, there is also always, right now, THIS.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x10vL6_47Dw
How beautiful! I was just talking to my niece about these sorts of bird live feeds. She just had a baby and I'm trying to convince her to set up one of Aidan sleeping!! I mean, not really. But it is lovely to watch him sleep! And also lovely to watch the birds!! So smart to have that in the corner of your screen!! The sounds alone are soothing! And, as always, thank you for your kind words, Asha!
Love this. Exercising choice is such a powerful form of self-compassion, dare I say love. Squirrels are endlessly entertaining, persistent, and playful.
Thank you, Julie! And you're absolutely right, it is! Though some days I am choosing squirrels a lot!! And, yes, squirrels are the best!
Oh, fellow sensitive and introvert, I see you. I hear you.
I choose squirrels. I choose birds. I choose a friendly green gecko. I choose the Christmas Buddha cactus blooming in April. I choose clouds. I choose water. I choose dog snoots.
Instead of email and chaos, I choose nature everyday.
And I've been delighting in squirrels for as long as I can remember. When I moved here to South Carolina I could not find the squirrels. I theorized it was because the Southern Pines unlike Oaks or Maple trees have slender swaying trunks like brown pipe cleaners with thin branches several feet up. Takes quite a bit of squirrel energy and some mighty sharp squirrel talons to navigate the trees here. And then, two squirrels appeared! I've been feeding them whole peanuts for months now. And lo and behold, just a few weeks ago, baby squirrels appeared playfully flying through the brush like the acrobatic wonders they are! And those fuzzy tails and inquisitive expressions on their tiny furry snoots! Some days if I'm weary I swear they are there just to make eye contact as if to say, hey, it's going to be alright, silly dumpling. They remind me to embrace delight and even frivolity. So, yes, let's keep choosing squirrels, friend. Some of us try so hard to get to enlightenment or liberation. Sometimes it IS easier than we would imagine. These moments of this beautiful messy world and these miracle of mystery bodies are quite capable of experiencing joy and comfort from as Cheryl would say, The Tiny Beautiful Things. Love that one. Keep choosing squirrels, word weaver. And expand into what liberates your being!
Yes to all of this Constellations!! And I'm so happy you and your squirrels found one another! And flying babies!! Yay!
Morning Jane! Me too! Happy Squirrel communing!
Thank you for this graceful suggestion. ❤️
I'm so happy you enjoyed it, Sinem! ❤️
Yes! The way I think about this subject, is that the mind is only capable of thinking about one thing at a time. If we can fill that space with a different topic, even if just for a few moments, it breaks the chain of obsessive thinking. Television or squirrels, maybe even jumping jacks, are so helpful. I hope for you a time soon when this particular irritant possesses absolutely no power.
I agree with every word you said, Sue! And thank you for your hope for me! The difference between now and even a year or so ago is profound. But it would be lovely to receive a text and feel absolutely nothing! ❤️
Oh Jane, your opening line flayed my heart. I wanted to reach into this digital space and somehow give you a hug. I wanted to be the kindness you deserve in your life. And here's why, in a nutshell:
I am raising a medically fragile and complex daughter who is twelve. Her name is Sarah, and she was born with a rare craniofacial condition. Throughout her life, she has been labeled ugly, witch, monster, weird, funny face, and scary. She notices gawking and glares everywhere we go.
Our family discusses kindness almost every day. It is a family virtue, I would say, something incredibly important to us to foster and to recognize and appreciate in others.
Kindness is simple. How we treat others matters a great deal. We have the agency to bolster someone's spirits or drag them down. And yes, each of us can choose how we will live and what we will do with the negativity from others, that's true. That's the only power we really have--how we will choose to respond, how we view ourselves and others.
I also think that when each of us makes intentional efforts to spread love and light in the world (not in a woo woo way, but in tangible ways), then things do change. Maybe not globally, but we start small, right? We start in our own homes, then spread into our neighborhoods and communities. We set an intention to respond with compassion in the moments we find ourselves in every day.
And it's a marvel how powerful this practice really is. I have stories upon stories about conversations I've had with grocery store clerks, my endocrinologist's nurse practitioner, my daughter's math teacher, all resulting from a single, fleeting, and deliberate motion towards appreciating and validating the other person in some way. I write about these interactions here on Substack, and every day when I log in, I am flooded with comments from those who tell me how refreshing it is to see good things happening in the world, that it "restores their faith in humanity" (which was a comment I read at least six times this morning).
All this to say, Jane, YOU are a light. Keep being you. Keep showing up every day with a good heart. I am standing with you.
Ooooh, thank you, Jeannie. I so appreciate you and daughter and all your kind words! I agree with absolutely everything you said! And I'm glad you are flooded with those comments. You are also a light! ❤️
Keep choosing those squirrels, Jane, to remind you that love, beauty, and goodness are surrounding you every day. I am happy to be here with you.
Superb, Jane. The perfect pivot from self-destructive habit to one of nature’s most adorable creatures. I choose squirrels too. And dogs. I definitely choose dogs.
Thank you, Ros! Oh, yes, dogs! And cats!