23 Comments

I’m going to make a salad for a friend tonight and think of this.

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I love that! I hope you enjoy your email together!

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Sep 30, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Jane, MAKE HER A SALAD IN YOUR MIND is perhaps the greatest bit of advice ever offered. So gentle and magnificent. How the lamas know the exact wisdom to share is truly mystifying. Did the act of making a mental salad, and then eventually a real salad, lead to other solutions in other similar situations? I'd love to know how the suggestion took seed elsewhere:)

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It did! In fact, I originally mentioned that and then whittled everything down for word count so it was cut! I've made salads in my head for anger a bunch of times!! Frustration and impatience, as well. It really works!

I'm so glad you appreciated Rimpoche's wisdom! It changed everything for me!

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Oct 16, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

So sorry you lost your Auntie Marge, but what a gift it seems she was to your life.

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Thank you, Kate! Such a gift! (I don't know why the comment button sent you to the wrong gratitude post! It happened to a couple others, as well.) xx

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Oh what a glorious human being, writer and Capricorn you are! Familiar with the terrain of our Winter Birthdays, I rejoice in your capacity to throw caution to the wind, even when it's fiercely blowing, and give us your loving wisdom. Bravo Jane!

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❤️❤️❤️

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Oct 15, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Beautiful Jane. Loved reading this and sending love from japan what a tribute to your community of elders that loved you and supported you. Hugs and xoxox

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Thank you, Sue! I think you meant this for the elder post but for some reason it showed up here!! I hope you're enjoying Japan!! xoxox

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Oct 15, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Yes I did. Hugs!

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Ironic, serendipity or just us expressing thoughts and feelings about elderliness. Is that a word? Now it is. Regardless, Jane, you're not quite into my category of elders although you're getting closer. I just wrote a blurb about one of my grandmothers, and wrote one about a grandfather a week or so ago. At 86, I am in the last quarter of this game and will play it joyfully and fully until the end. We are fortunate to have learned so much from our elders and blessed by their love and attention.

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Hi Gary! I think you're responding to today's post, yes? And it's not the first time we've been so in synch, if I recall correctly! Eldernliness is now a word, yes! And Elder is now a verb! We're changing the world! We are so fortunate! Going to eat dinner and then look forward to reading your post!

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Oct 3, 2023·edited Oct 3, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Oh Jane, I remember this time so well, and the salad suggestion! I’ve always loved how willing you are to grapple with emotional discomfort - it’s an inspiration ❤️

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Laughing out loud! That was such a time. Such good memories, really. I miss you both!! And thanks for the kind words--though I don't know what else to do but grapple. And then hope things improve. Haha.

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I loved your vulnerability in this newsletter. I too am a recovering Jealously addict and I find so much peace in pausing and reminding myself to 'bless that which you desire'.

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Thank you. And that's such a beautiful practice!! Thanks for sharing!

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Oct 2, 2023Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Wow I LOVE the salad story Rat! I can see why this strategy works. Also I know it doesn’t HAVE to be salad but the idea of making a salad in my head for someone is funny and makes me smile, so I am totally going to try this!

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Haha. Yes, it can be anything! But salads are pretty smile-inducing! Let me know how it goes!

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"Make her a salad in your head". I'm grateful for that and to you for sharing it.

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I'm so glad that was helpful to you! I apply it to a lot of tricky emotions!

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Grateful for you for sharing your wisdom and insights on living, grateful for each new day as the gift that it is, and grateful to all our teachers, mentors, friends and families for unmitigated love. You must know Judy Lief, yes? I just re-read a post of hers from August 30, 2022 on Death and as you might expect, it is choc-a-block full of Buddhist teachings that enrich all of us beyond measure.

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Gary, that's beautiful! I love your lineage of gratitude!

I know of Judy Lief but am not as familiar with her work as I probably should be and would like to be! This is a good reminder. Thank you!

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