Good News & Gratitude #11

Shoutout to Boundless Curiosity, England, Rescue Dogs, and the People Who Shaped Us In Ways That Sometimes Unexpectedly Bring Us Joy!

My dad in England packing up his Triumph.

Hello Beyonders!

We have so many new subscribers. Welcome! I wanted to take a moment to share a few words about Beyond. I started Beyond about a year and a half ago because I was struggling and it seemed like everyone around me was struggling and the world at large was struggling. Things were (are) really hard.

I’ve interviewed people for decades and I thought, what if I create a Substack that’s focused on joy and kindness and wisdom and animals and love and writing? That offers ways we can help one another. That shines a bit or a lot of light into some of the darkness. And what if I do this by speaking with some of our greatest heart-centered minds in the form of our most gifted, compassionate, funny, insightful, honest, imaginative writers. So I reached out to a few. They said yes. And I reached out to a few more. They said yes. And on and on until this moment. And there are many more fantastic conversations yet to come!

I feel so beyond words lucky to do this work. It means everything to me. And as corny as it may sound, I feel like my entire life has been preparing me for this. Even the hard stuff, like the head and brain injury.

I’m so grateful you’re all here! And I want to do something I haven’t before, and probably should have, which is to give a special shoutout to my paid subscribers. You truly make this possible. Each interview takes at least twenty hours, often more. Sometimes much (much!) more. And then there are the essays and editing guest contributors and writing various posts and all the behind the scenes work that I won’t bore you with. So many hours are devoted to Beyond that it’s difficult to find time for other streams of income. So you’re helping me keep a roof over my head, feed my babies (kitty Rudy Lu and doggy Delilah), and hire a little bit of much needed help. I’m deeply grateful.

I totally understand it’s not always possible to become a paid subscriber—that’s why I do my best to keep as much content as I’m able free. I’m trying to find the balance between sharing all this wisdom and beauty with as many people as possible whilst also providing a sustainable income for myself.

In whatever form you’re here, I’m so happy that you are! What a beautiful community we’ve become! I learn so much from all of you.

Good News: In a few days, I’ll be making our monthly donation to The DeTommaso Dogs. Ana works around the clock (truly) to rescue dogs in need, many near death. This is another way your paid subscriptions help! Thank you! Much gratitude!

My dad and me throughout the years!

As I write this, I’m considering how it is I become so passionate about interviewing people and the answer is simple: my dad.

My dad asks more questions than anyone I know. It doesn’t matter what the topic is or how well he knows you, if you sit down with him be prepared to examine your life in a way you never have before. What do you eat for dinner? How do you cook it? Do you ever burn it? Do you feel lousy if you burn it? Do you feed tidbits to the animals who live with you? Do they help you do the dishes in return? Does cooking make you happy? Do you keep the leftovers? Do you heat them in the oven or the microwave? Are you pleased you know how to cook? Do you have dreams to open a restaurant? You get the picture! And this might well be a conversation with someone who works in a hospital or a shoe store, with no desire to be a professional chef and isn’t even necessarily a good cook!

Anyone reading this who knows my dad is nodding their head. At times in my life I’ve been overwhelmed, even irritated, by this trait: how can one person have so many questions? But I came to realize, he has a deep and genuine interest in how people live their lives. After all, we’re all living them differently despite ways we might crossover. He also has a deep and genuine desire to help others when possible. And one way to find out if they need help is to ask questions.

This bottomless curiosity is something I inherited, though it took me ages to realize as much. I remember visiting one of my good friends in Los Angeles in the nineties and asking her what I thought were perfectly reasonable, well spaced out questions, nothing extraordinary about them, and her turning to me somewhere on Rodeo Drive with tremendous exasperation and announcing I was like a five year old. In fact, I asked more questions than her children, who were, indeed, around five then.

I was embarrassed. And yet: I couldn’t rein in the questions. I had become my father.

As a teen, I was always going to concerts where I managed to talk my way backstage. Rather than trying to get it on with the band members, I had questions! Then I’d go home and fill my journals with their answers. So it made sense when, in my thirties, I began interviewing bands for Interview magazine, and Vh-1, and others. And later when I interviewed authors for LARB, Guernica, Tin House, The Believer, and more.

I, too, have an insatiable curiosity about how we’re all getting through these weird, beautiful, hard, confusing, desperate, loving lives of ours. And this insatiable curiosity has allowed me to speak with some of the coolest, kindest, most brilliant people on the planet. So, thanks, Dad! Gigantic Gratitude!

My dad chatting with the queen on our last visit to England.

I’ll be leaving next week for England. Every year, I put everything I possibly can on my charge card to build up miles to go visit the bajillion cousins whom I adore in my heart and soul’s homeland. This will be the first year going without my dad. At ninety-six, he’s decided to pack it in. Last year he was climbing the cliffs in Cornwall. And the year before, he was zooming up and down the notoriously steep streets of Clovelly—which I wrote about for one of my favorite Substacks:

Oldster Magazine

But this year, he’s feeling a little unsteady on his feet (though he is still walking around without a cane and doing his daily exercises which include jumping rope!). It’s going to feel strange to be there without him. For one, all the questions will fall on me!

In addition to the cousins, I’ll be spending a week in London with my friends and their ridiculously cute daughter, and visiting other friends who live there. I’m bringing my laptop, so Beyond will continue on as usual!

So much is sad and harrowing and scary right now. I thought it might be beneficial and even fun to spend some time remembering the people who shaped us, whose traits that kind of drove us nuts ended up in our cells—and possibly even brought us joy. I’d love to hear your stories!

And what’s your good news in general? What are you grateful for? What has brought you joy this week? Nothing is too small! In fact, it’s usually the small stuff that gets us through.

xJane