Everything Happening Perfectly
The Body, Brain, and Books: Eleven Questions with writer, composer, musician, and more Jesse Paris Smith
Welcome to another edition of The Body, Brain, & Books. If you enjoy reading these quick, insightful interviews brimming with wisdom and hope, please subscribe to Beyond.
What are you reading now?
I’m always studying a handful of books for work and research, and am also finishing The Third Gilmore Girl: A Memoir by Kelly Bishop. I love reading about her life as a dancer and actor in NYC and beyond. She is honest and generously open with her memories. Reading her words I can hear her voice, like listening in person over a shared cup of tea or glass of wine. I always look forward to picking up where I left off, though I don’t want the book to end!
What are your most beloved books from your youth? Did you ever hide any from your parents?
As many do, I have life changing books from each era of my life: early childhood, middle school, highschool, early adulthood. These books are personal and sacred and bring about immense joy just thinking of their titles, covers, significant illustrations or moments in the plot. Characters who inspired me, writing that transported me, designs and bindings that felt like special objects in my hands. And discovering the wonder and power of nonfiction, learning about people and places, animals and science.
I am extremely private about personal details like this, but I will go outside of my comfort zone and share one of the beloved books that most influenced my early life: Animalia by Graeme Base. I spent hours upon hours with that book, staring at each page and searching the details which seemed infinite. Something about that book felt like standing in the wildest place of nature or a completely surreal dream, when time feels elastic and anything and everything seems possible. When the ‘here and now’ is limitless and magical, and nothing else exists, even just for the moment. I have a copy of this book on display in my room, and seeing the cover now as I type this, I'm transported immediately to those hours of discovery in my youth, and to the feeling the book and its pages evoke. When I look at its cover, I don’t see a book written by an author, I see part of me, part of who I am, an extension of myself from my earliest days of imagination and wonder and it makes me very happy. :)
What’s your favorite book to reread? Any that helped you through a dark time?
So many of my books are re-read and revisited, depending on my mood and needs. Poetry, research, informative or comforting books of study and wisdom. Sometimes just seeing them waiting on the shelf is comfort enough. There is a book called ‘Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships’ by John Welwood which for a while I would read to begin each new year. I write a lot in my personal reading copies of books, so when I revisit them I also revisit those notes, the things I highlighted, underlined, the ideas and questions I wrote in the margins. Sometimes I’m surprised at the way my understanding has changed since last reading, or I find myself puzzled by what seemed so intriguing to me at the time. In addition to journals and notebooks, those revisits are opportunities to connect with a previous version of self, realizing ways you’ve grown and changed that may or may not have been obvious before. In revisiting an old book, you can also revisit yourself, whether in reminded of who you are, or validated in who you’ve become.
What’s an article of clothing that makes you feel most like you?
Definitely my boots. And when there’s even the slightest chill in the air, a hat.
What’s the best piece of wisdom you've encountered recently?
It’s not anything new or groundbreaking, but I just need to continually revisit the concept of not worrying about the future or the past, and to stay present in the moment, enjoying what is right in front of me without feeling anxious about what it means, about losing it, about whether I’m moving in the right direction. I hold this wisdom in high regard applied to pretty much every area of my life, but I also am liable to fall into bouts of ‘analysis paralysis,’ as I’ve written about in Substack posts.
Logically and rationally I am able to talk intellectually about staying present and having faith that everything is happening just as it's meant to, but emotions sometimes take the forefront, and anxiety can prevail. So the wisdom is always there, it’s a value and belief held deep in my heart, in fact I have it tattooed on my left wrist, ‘everything happening perfectly’ - and I truly believe that it is, I just need to always remember to apply this not only as a general and overarching value, but as a regulating thought to use in the moment whenever I find myself struggling. It’s a lot about having faith in oneself, to stop abandoning ourselves and our intuition, to let go of a need for perfection or knowing what will happen next, to feel the fear and do the thing anyway, no matter what may or may not happen next.
Tell me about any special relationship you’ve had with an animal, domestic or wild?
My cat, The Kitty, and my mom’s cat, Cairo. Both of these cats were both of our cats - they were ours and we were theirs, our family. I draw a lot of power from the memory of both of them and the lessons I learned from my friendships with them. They are in my heart and mind always, guardian angels and guides from beyond.
What's one thing you are happy worked out differently than you expected?
As I said above, I do believe that everything has worked out exactly as it should have, even when the lesson hasn’t been clear at first. This has really helped aid me through difficult transitions and confusing stretches of time. It helps so much to develop and hold that faith and trust, especially in those moments when we find ourselves wishing for a crystal clear ball to tell the future.
Singing in the shower or dancing in the kitchen? Or another favorite way your body expresses itself?
I like to do karaoke in the living room. :D It makes me smile and I always learn something unexpected. I highly recommend it.
What are your hopes for yourself?
My personal goals revolve around my career and work, the things I would like to achieve, the things I am working towards each day. My personal hopes revolve around good health and happiness, as probably all of ours do. My biggest hopes though are tied with my fears about our world, and that’s why action is so immensely important. Hope and Action are the remedy for fear. Hope and Action working in tandem is always the best formula for seeing the results we’re dreaming of, reminding ourselves often that the road to our successes is often much different than planned, and our definition of success is liable to change as we evolve and grow.
What’s a kindness that changed your life?
We moved to NYC when I was 9 years old and I didn’t have any friends here. I was lonely, the new kid at school, wishing for someone to talk to and laugh with. Not knowing what else to do, I wrote letters to different girls in my class asking for their friendship, and to my great joy and relief, one of them responded that she would love to be my friend. I remember reading her words and the exclamation point at the end, and it still makes me smile to think about. She immediately became my best friend and really was the greatest gift I could have imagined during that time of my life. I really can’t imagine having to go through that period without her friendship. In our late teen years we had a falling out of sorts, but we found each other again in our early twenties in such a serendipitous way, it was impossible to deny the fact that we were absolutely meant to be in each other’s lives. To this day she is one of my dearest confidants, one of the wisest and most intelligent people I know, and someone I can laugh with, talk with about difficult situations, or just vent to. She took a chance on me when we were only in 4th grade, and she is still here through good times and tough ones, always encouraging, and a great and loyal support. A true friend. Such a kind and wise and awesome kid, such a kind and wise and awesome adult.
What’s a guiding force in your life?
I feel guided by the need to stand in my purpose. I believe in the importance of this formula: skills+helping others=purpose. To identify and develop our own skills, to figure out how we can use these skills to be of service, and then offer ourselves to the world in this way. I’m guided by the need to do this, by the continuous drive to learn and study, to develop my understanding of self and the world, and to continuously hone in deeper on how I can truly be helpful during my time on this Earth. This is a guiding force that has always been present, which shifts and changes throughout my life, and which I’m pretty sure will always remain strong. What am I doing here, how can I be better, and what can I do to help? I always want to be asking these questions, reflecting and checking in, learning and growing to the best of my ability. I’m really grateful for this chance to be alive and just want to do my best while I’m here. ❤️
If you enjoyed Jesse’s questionnaire, you may also enjoy this one with Suzanne Clores:
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Her mother’s daughter and her own beautiful soul. I’m particularly struck by the story of how she found her best friend. Few children would have the resourcefulness and courage to make a direct request for friendship.
Jesse,I so enjoyed your interview with Jane,your positivity and the causes you champion are close to my heart...loved the pictures of you with the late,great Cairo and The Kitty...so sweet! I joined Substack because I love everything your mom,Patti,puts out...her writing has always been magical to me;but started to read your stuff too and have become very fond of your writing as well...Thanks for sharing,I look forward to more.Thank you to Jane also...😻💕