200 Comments
Apr 11Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

My latest writing workshop, "We Can Write Hard Things" was postponed because I lost my daughter to cancer last week. I struggled with postponing it, but it was a good idea. But I am still holding my writing groups and writing about Annie every day because I know doing what I love will pull me along. Reading this essay affirmed that for me...thank goodness. There is so much sadness for so many people, I am grateful when I can stumble across something that makes me feel joy--like Annie's smile or the strength of others. Thank you so much for this one. xo

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Oh, Cindy, I'm so very sorry to hear this about your beloved daughter. I'm glad you are finding strength and solace in your writing. And I'm also glad Evelyn's words spoke to you. Sending so much love and support. ❤️❤️❤️

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Apr 11Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Thank you, Jane. Even in unimaginable grief, I am grateful I can still feel gratitude. xo

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I understand that feeling quite well. It’s a sort of lifeline.❤️

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Cindy, my heart breaks for you. Holding you in my heart and sending so much love ❤️

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Cindy, you don’t know me but I’m sending you a ton of love over the internet as you walk through these days in grief❤️

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How very thoughtful. I love when the Internet is used for good rather than evil :)

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Cindy, your message made me cry. I am so sorry for your devastating loss. I hope that writing will continue to be an outlet for your emotions--not to make them go away, but to give yourself the space to explore them or unburden yourself or whatever you need in the moment. Sending you so much love for Annie's memory and for you. ❤️

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Thank you. Annie's attitude carried us all through--with humor and love. We both wrote about the experience...she was so strong.

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Cindy, I’m so sorry. Sending love and warmth ❤️

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Thank you for this comment, too. Speaking through immense grief is a powerful gift to others facing it, or working with those who are. Thank you.

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I'm so sorry about your daughter. Please keep her near with your writing.

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Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Cindy! There are no words one can say to make losing a child less painful, therefore I'm sending you lots of love. Keep writing!

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I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. May the writing bring you strength and comfort.

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Speechless with happiness for Evelyn and Tom, and gratitude for this reflection on the sustaining power of joy in the hardest times. It is not an abdication of responsibility, as so many think. I hope Evelyn’s beautiful story opens minds.

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I love this: "It is not an abdication of responsibility, as so many think." Yes! Glad you enjoyed the essay, Rona!

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thank you so very very much, Rona! I am so glad to have been able to touch your heart today. Thank you for being here!

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Thank you, Evelyn, for sharing this story. I actually really appreciate following the bread crumbs, knowing that the novel you were writing had to go, though it had served you well in its way. And that you were able to take pieces of the emotional content of it and your experience and weave something new out of it in the aftermath of that terrible time. It's so tempting to be precious about our words. To think that everything we write needs to "go somewhere." We forget that sometimes writing just heals us and helps us go on. That's its purpose, not publication.

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So beautifully put! ❤️

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I echo Jane's comment that you said this so well. I'm smiling, reading your note. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. It means more than you know!

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What an uplifting piece... This is by far the best piece of psychology and self improvement I've read in a while that resonates. Thank you both.

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So glad you enjoyed it! And I agree!

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wow, thank you so much. I am really happy this piece found you today!

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Thank you Evelyn, so do I. I am sorry for all the heart ache you and your family have been through. I cannot imagine how you found time to write in between all the intensity and all the worry you must have been through. I admire that and I appreciate you writing about your experience and sharing it.

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So good to have you affirm my distraction every day, at the end of the first week of being a widow.

So much to be done! But, I feel as though I only have half a brain. Normally, I'm super-organized. Now, I sit in my recliner surrounded by “don't forget notes” and papers. A friend has written his obituary (excellent). It's ready to go to the local paper, but I can’t find a “good enough” picture. Spent most the day today going through years of pictures.

He was only in the hospital for 3 days, all unresponsive. I became exhausted.

I know a lot about grieving. I lost a daughter when she was 16. I became a therapist and specialized in helping grieving parents for years.

I'm 80 now. He was 90. We had 42 incredible years of marriage.

Thanks again for your words.

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Apr 15Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

You sound like an incredible person and 42 years of marriage is beautiful! I’m sure life holds some stories for you yet.

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Peggy, I just saw your comment here, months later. I am so sorry for your loss, and I'm sending you a very big hug. 💛

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What a beautiful post and beautiful way to approach life and all its challenges and horrors. Thank you for sharing this ❤️

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I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Vicki! ❤️

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Thank you so much, Vicki. It means a lot to me that you read the piece and also took extra time to write this comment!

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Jane, your posts always offer a nugget that speaks to my heart. This post with Evelyn Skye was particularly poignant and timely. Thank you for all that you do. And thank you to Evelyn for sharing her story with vulnerability and grace.

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Thank you so much for your kind words, Paulette! They mean so much! And I'm so glad you enjoyed Evelyn's beautiful piece! 🌸

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Thank you so much, Paulette. I really appreciate you reading this piece!

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Very moving.

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Glad you enjoyed it, Remy!

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thank you so much, Remy.

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Apr 12Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

This is beyond beautiful. Thank you , Evelyn; thank you Jane.

"It’s difficult to believe that you deserve even brief sparks of joy when others are suffering. But the truth is, those small moments rejuvenate your soul, and then your heart is more able to give love and care when the people you love need it."

How indeed.

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I love that passage, too! So beautiful and true. Glad you enjoyed the essay, Kim!

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I'm so happy that resonated with you, Kim! Thank you for your kind compliment!

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Apr 12Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

What a beautiful interview! Evelyn sparks so much goodness.

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Oh, that's so beautifully put! And so true! Evelyn does spark so much goodness! 🌸

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aww thank you, Claudia!

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I can't stop crying after reading this beautiful essay, Evelyn and Jane. Thanks for sharing it with us; it's such a heartfelt journey. She is so right; it's in the hardship that we need something to get us going, or else we will fail the ones we support and need. Thus, it is not selfish to do something for us during these times, as that will KEEP US GOING.

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So true, Parul! And so glad you enjoyed Evelyn's beautiful essay!

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Thank you for your tears of appreciation, Parul. It means a lot to me that this essay moved you so much!

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It did Evelyn .. so much so that I am soon publishing a post inspired from this about my current personal experience .. would love you to read it — will share it soon ❤️❤️

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Thank you Evelyn. I posted my first intro as to Why? I decided to sink my toe in this pond. My husband's health is declining fast. Vascular Dementia, recuperating from Bladder Cancer, Polimyalgia Rheumatica, Hearing Loss... I'm no spring chicken either. I decided I need a creative outlet for my Speculative Fiction short stories and other op/eds.

Reading your post was just what I needed "to hear" to give me hope to carry on. ♥️

https://open.substack.com/pub/janinevicicampbell/p/why?r=ez84n&utm_medium=ios

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That is a lot to carry all at once. Sending much love and support. And I'm so glad Evelyn's beautiful and wise essay found its way to you! ❤️

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Serendipity 🌺 thanks for posting it

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Sending you a very very big hug, my dear. That's a lot you and your husband are both dealing with, and I see you. I am glad this post came at the right moment for you and hope that you will find some small moments of joy in the darkness, as well. Much love to you both...

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Dearest E... like a faerie you appeared just as I decided to post my preview: WHY? I was getting into Substack right now. I didn't mention the dementia, pains and chemo aftermath. But you were the guiding light to give me hope to carry on... like the song. Gracias de♥️

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Absolutely beautiful. Got me super teary eyed thinking of how precious it all is and a powerfully gentle reminder to nurture ourselves even through hardship so can keep loving everyone around us. Thank you.

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Truth. 🌸

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thank you so very much, Sue. I'm smiling because of your comment. Sending love to you.

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So beautiful. Got choked up at the end. There is beauty in grief, I learned, however painful. Sending lots of love.

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Very true. 🌸

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Thank you, Unha. You said it perfectly: "There is beauty in grief... however painful." I appreciate you reading my piece!

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Apr 11·edited Apr 12Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Tears in my eyes. Happy tears because being a writer means everything, absolutely every centipede-leg thing, is grist for the mill and leavens the work. Sometimes becomes the work. Thanks for sharing your source of inspiration, and so glad Tom got another chance at joy thanks to someone else's lungs...

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Yes to all of this, Toby! And I'm glad you were so moved by Evelyn's story. 🌸

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Thank you so much, Toby. You get it about writing. It's balm for the soul sometimes.

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Inspiring. Beautiful. Real. 👏

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I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Lee! 🌸

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Thank you so much, Lee! I'm glad you felt this piece in your heart.

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