33 Comments

I am so moved by Jillian's view of curiosity as a form of love that it brought me to tears. I am going to print it out and paste it to the shelf over my desk.

I am currently working on an essay about how to talk to someone with whom you disagree vehemently—how to bridge the gap—which proposes that what can work is for each to explore what is behind the other's position. That is, you can overcome your rage by activating your curiosity. It's been something of a mystery to me that I experience a surge of affection for my interlocutor, when we agree not to try to change one another's minds but only to focus on how we each came to our beliefs. Jillian's insight offers an answer!

Further, last week, my writing partner (a neuropsychiatrist) and I (an essay writer) started a substack in which we explore through dialogue how writers and others can benefit from new insights of neuroscience and psychology. One of the discoveries is how curiosity that is free of judgment can lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves—even to personal transformation.

I have been following both you and Jillian for some time and love both your substacks. What a treat to read you in conversation!

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author

Ooooh, this is so beautiful, Elizabeth. Thank you. And I agree, curiosity can lead to better understanding of one another and even healing.

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That means so much to me, Elizabeth. Thank you for your lovely comment. I've found the curiosity approach very helpful.

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I love her observation about handling failure as a predictor of success. And I guess the time has come to read Middlemarch.

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Yes! And curious to hear what you think of Middlemarch. I’ve only just read it myself!

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It's always time to read Middlemarch :)

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Jane, another great interview. I love this series and the questions. It is great getting to see another side of some of our favorite writers.

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author

That makes me so happy to hear!! That’s one of my goals! 🌸

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I’ll enjoy reading Jillian’s substack even more knowing how kind she is. Thank you Jane!

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author

I’m so glad! Jillian is sooo kind! 🌸

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Awe. This comment put a smile on my face!

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May 15Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

I’m a huge fan of Miss Hess so this was wonderful. My favorite part was at the end when she wrote that “curiosity is a form of love.” I never thought of it like that, but it’s exactly right. So I can forgive her for thinking that Middlemarch (aka “Deathmarch”) is a good read.

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author

Haha! At last, someone else who isn't smitten with Middlemarch. Yikes. What is it with that book?! And, yes, I love that quote, as well. So beautiful!

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May 18Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Ah, you two! I suppose Middlemarch isn't for everyone!

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May 14Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

What a lovely exchange to read! This comment struck me as especially important for our young ones to know as they grapple with the loneliness and anxiety endemic to our times. Finding one’s community can take time, and our communities can and will shift over a lifetime.

“I was a loner as kid, so I never expected to have meaningful friendships. But it turns out, I just hadn’t found “my people” yet. Once I went to graduate school, I found so many like-minded book nerds.”

I look forward to reading more from both of you!

- a book nerd

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author

I loved that, too! I'm so glad you enjoyed the interview!

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May 13Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Two of my favourite Substack writers in one place - happy days! Thank you for this lovely interview. I have picked up a new way of describing my interests - as going down a rabbit hole!

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author

I’m delighted to hear that!! And yes to rabbit holes! 🐰

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I love my rabbit holes! Thanks for your kind words, Charlie!

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May 13Liked by Jane Ratcliffe

Totally agree on her comments on failure and curiosity!! I have both in abundance… :)

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author

Haha. Me, too! 🌸

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Ditto!

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Loved this, Jillian and Jane — Thank you!

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author

I’m so glad! ❤️

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founding

Jane,

Thanks for another great interview with one of my favorite Substack writers.

Jillian,

There's a chapter on The Metamorphosis in Nabokov's Lectures on Literature. It has a neat page with Nabokov's drawings of the beetle and a few of his notes. I'll send you a picture of the page.

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author

Glad you enjoyed it, David! And ooooh that sounds very cool!

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Thanks, David!

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without curiosity, we wouldn't learn much! xx's

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author

So true! 🌸

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Lovely to read Jillian's responses, and I smiled when she said her favorite book growing up was the dictionary. Mine, too! I combed through my well-worn Mirriam-Webster hardcover, and wrote down words I loved and their definitions on index cards and memorized new words on my walks to school. I used as many of them as I could in my high school English essays, not always accurately but with great enthusiasm!

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What a lovely and interesting person. Thanks for introducing her to us, Jane

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author

I’m so glad you enjoyed the interview! I think you might also love Jillian’s Substack! 🌸

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“If so, ‘curiosity is a kind of love,’ as you suggests than curiosity is a misnomer.

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