On getting the best ideas in the shower and in therapy, writing sex scenes, writing about people you love, writing about people who've been shitty to you, vivid settings, and reading work out loud.
Love these crafts advice! As I have just completed a first draft of a book on my daughter’s father who didn’t behave in the best way I can particularly relate to what Stephanie says. I too was / am concerned about how my daughters would view their father, but I hope I have managed to find nuance and complexity. And, I think my daughters know more than they let on. And I wholeheartedly agree with the point about single mothers having sex! Yes, absolutely let’s challenge this image of single mothers being angelic! :)
I find this one of the most difficult things to write about!! Argh. I found Stephanie's insight and experience incredibly helpful. I'm so glad you did, too, Imola! And congrats on finishing a first draft! That's huge!! And yes to single mother sex!! 🌸
Stephanie is the real deal and the more I know of her the more I believe she is "at home" with herself. She doesn't write to please others, she writes her truth as she sees and experiences it and that is powerful stuff, especially with her life stories. When I saw her desk, I remembered this: "If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, think what an empty desk means." It's from the clutter where we write our stories.
I'm so glad you enjoyed the interview, Gary! I agree, Stephanie writes it as she sees it. I so admire that about her. And I love that desk quote. Haha! Perfect!
Just this morning I was thinking about particularly women’s empowerment and our bodies as not only laborers but as creators of our lives and communities. How we teach agency and remember who we are is essential to a liberated life. Sadly, 28 year old mother to be, Josseli Barnica, of Texas who was not single died during childbirth.
“28-year-old Texas woman died in 2021 after doctors delayed emergency care for her miscarriage for 40 hours, according to a new ProPublica investigation. At 17-weeks pregnant, Josseli Barnica went to the hospital with cramps and learned a miscarriage was “inevitable.” But under the state’s strict six-week abortion ban, ProPublica reports her doctors felt that they were unable to intervene early. Barnica’s medical team told her that “they had to wait until there was no heartbeat” and that “it would be a crime to give her an abortion,” according to her husband. Medical experts, who reviewed Barnica’s case, called the case “egregious” and “horrific.” More than a dozen doctors told ProPublica that her medical team could’ve taken steps to prevent the infection that ultimately killed Barnica, leaving her young daughter without a mother. In a statement to ProPublica, the hospital chain that treated Barnica said “our responsibility is to be in compliance with applicable state and federal laws and regulations.”
What it means: Barnica’s case highlights the effects of strict abortion bans like Texas’s, which came before the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Her story is coming to light now partly because Texas’s committee of maternal health experts is still reviewing deaths from 2021. The circumstances surrounding Barnica’s death are gaining attention just days before the first presidential election post-Roe. A recent survey found that abortion has surpassed inflation as the top voting issue for women under 30, and some experts say the outcome of the presidential race (and the House and Senate races) could decide the future of reproductive health care nationwide. Meanwhile, on Nov. 5, voters in 10 states will decide on abortion rights initiatives.
Related: This Woman Said She Miscarried — Then She Got Arrested (WaPo)”
I mention Barnica’s story because we as women are being divided once again over our agency of our own bodies. Can you imagine a man being told he cannot have access to Viagra? There are women voting for DT because they truly believe he’s protecting unborn babies and women. In a recent conversation with a woman who supports him, she truly believes he’s saving babies lives. Sadly, women are dying because of these practices and these acts of “idiot compassion.” Barnica’s husband has lost his wife and their older child has lost a Mom and her child who miscarried.
I appreciate Stephanie’s mention of using our voices as even I have struggled with the concept of “idiot compassion.” “The opposite of idiot compassion is wise compassion, which involves making judgments of care and concern, and acting only on things that are informed by wisdom and care.” Does denying women’s healthcare medicine protect women and children? No. Does the act of men using their monies and power over women’s bodies as a way to garner votes save lives? No. The conversation with this woman is sad but not new to our history. Does denying DT is a rapist and is merely a victim of “fake news” by “money hungry” women bring joy or liberation? No. Will it improve our lives?
Imagine a world where women are encouraged to have choices over their own health and sexuality? Imagine a world where all women and children are celebrated and encouraged to use their voices and their vote to liberate themselves and others from tyranny? I support the choice of vote. It is our choices that set us free. I celebrate even the most difficult conversations because it is our choice that gives us opportunities to grow and thrive. So, I use my voice and my vote to support all women and their agency over their own bodies. Too many women have suffered and are perishing even now.
So, my point here is that Stephanie has the gift of her voice that makes her stories of particularly women’s lives and struggles even more powerful.
I hope we choose “wise compassion” over “idiot compassion.”
I just love your interviews, Jane. All of them. Every time. What value you offer!
Stephanie Land seems so confident in the permission she grants herself to write about others and, more importantly, about herself. I appreciate the idea that “your story is yours to tell.” Damn right it is! It isn’t always easy, but I believe that it’s truth that resonates most with readers. It’s truth that brings a creative project its success, whether internal or external.
Thank you for sharing the wisdom. I always look forward to your newsletters.
Writing about people you love who have done not the best things to you is one of the hardest things a writer can do. Nothing illegal about it but just hard for everyone involved. I admire Stephanie's courage.
Love these crafts advice! As I have just completed a first draft of a book on my daughter’s father who didn’t behave in the best way I can particularly relate to what Stephanie says. I too was / am concerned about how my daughters would view their father, but I hope I have managed to find nuance and complexity. And, I think my daughters know more than they let on. And I wholeheartedly agree with the point about single mothers having sex! Yes, absolutely let’s challenge this image of single mothers being angelic! :)
I find this one of the most difficult things to write about!! Argh. I found Stephanie's insight and experience incredibly helpful. I'm so glad you did, too, Imola! And congrats on finishing a first draft! That's huge!! And yes to single mother sex!! 🌸
Jane, I just love how we support each other! Always love reading you!
Yes to “nuance and complexity!”
I’m a big believer in nuance! :)
What a great conversation! I love Stephanie’s desk too!
So happy you enjoyed it, Cheryl. And I knooow, that desk! 🌸
Stephanie is the real deal and the more I know of her the more I believe she is "at home" with herself. She doesn't write to please others, she writes her truth as she sees and experiences it and that is powerful stuff, especially with her life stories. When I saw her desk, I remembered this: "If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, think what an empty desk means." It's from the clutter where we write our stories.
I'm so glad you enjoyed the interview, Gary! I agree, Stephanie writes it as she sees it. I so admire that about her. And I love that desk quote. Haha! Perfect!
Just this morning I was thinking about particularly women’s empowerment and our bodies as not only laborers but as creators of our lives and communities. How we teach agency and remember who we are is essential to a liberated life. Sadly, 28 year old mother to be, Josseli Barnica, of Texas who was not single died during childbirth.
“28-year-old Texas woman died in 2021 after doctors delayed emergency care for her miscarriage for 40 hours, according to a new ProPublica investigation. At 17-weeks pregnant, Josseli Barnica went to the hospital with cramps and learned a miscarriage was “inevitable.” But under the state’s strict six-week abortion ban, ProPublica reports her doctors felt that they were unable to intervene early. Barnica’s medical team told her that “they had to wait until there was no heartbeat” and that “it would be a crime to give her an abortion,” according to her husband. Medical experts, who reviewed Barnica’s case, called the case “egregious” and “horrific.” More than a dozen doctors told ProPublica that her medical team could’ve taken steps to prevent the infection that ultimately killed Barnica, leaving her young daughter without a mother. In a statement to ProPublica, the hospital chain that treated Barnica said “our responsibility is to be in compliance with applicable state and federal laws and regulations.”
What it means: Barnica’s case highlights the effects of strict abortion bans like Texas’s, which came before the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Her story is coming to light now partly because Texas’s committee of maternal health experts is still reviewing deaths from 2021. The circumstances surrounding Barnica’s death are gaining attention just days before the first presidential election post-Roe. A recent survey found that abortion has surpassed inflation as the top voting issue for women under 30, and some experts say the outcome of the presidential race (and the House and Senate races) could decide the future of reproductive health care nationwide. Meanwhile, on Nov. 5, voters in 10 states will decide on abortion rights initiatives.
Related: This Woman Said She Miscarried — Then She Got Arrested (WaPo)”
https://www.propublica.org/article/josseli-barnica-death-miscarriage-texas-abortion-ban
I mention Barnica’s story because we as women are being divided once again over our agency of our own bodies. Can you imagine a man being told he cannot have access to Viagra? There are women voting for DT because they truly believe he’s protecting unborn babies and women. In a recent conversation with a woman who supports him, she truly believes he’s saving babies lives. Sadly, women are dying because of these practices and these acts of “idiot compassion.” Barnica’s husband has lost his wife and their older child has lost a Mom and her child who miscarried.
I appreciate Stephanie’s mention of using our voices as even I have struggled with the concept of “idiot compassion.” “The opposite of idiot compassion is wise compassion, which involves making judgments of care and concern, and acting only on things that are informed by wisdom and care.” Does denying women’s healthcare medicine protect women and children? No. Does the act of men using their monies and power over women’s bodies as a way to garner votes save lives? No. The conversation with this woman is sad but not new to our history. Does denying DT is a rapist and is merely a victim of “fake news” by “money hungry” women bring joy or liberation? No. Will it improve our lives?
Imagine a world where women are encouraged to have choices over their own health and sexuality? Imagine a world where all women and children are celebrated and encouraged to use their voices and their vote to liberate themselves and others from tyranny? I support the choice of vote. It is our choices that set us free. I celebrate even the most difficult conversations because it is our choice that gives us opportunities to grow and thrive. So, I use my voice and my vote to support all women and their agency over their own bodies. Too many women have suffered and are perishing even now.
So, my point here is that Stephanie has the gift of her voice that makes her stories of particularly women’s lives and struggles even more powerful.
I hope we choose “wise compassion” over “idiot compassion.”
Thank you for listening. May we choose wisdom.
I agree with all of this! I'm glad you felt so moved by Stephanie's words. And, yes, may we choose wisdom, compassion, and love. xx
Thank you, Jane! Xx
A great interview, but I am left wondering, whose desk is that? It looks like mine after I spent hours cleaning it off last week.
It's Stephanie's desk! I always post a photo of where the author writes. I guess this one was particularly intriguing. Glad you enjoyed the interview!
I am equally intrigued by the desk ! 😉
It's Stephanie's desk! I always post a photo of where the author writes. I guess this one was particularly intriguing.
Loving it!
It’s so pretty! I love it, too! Hope you enjoyed the interview. 🌸
Sex scenes are tough. If you're the kind of writer who is ironic and counter-intuitive, watch out. Sex is neither : )
Indeed!
I just love your interviews, Jane. All of them. Every time. What value you offer!
Stephanie Land seems so confident in the permission she grants herself to write about others and, more importantly, about herself. I appreciate the idea that “your story is yours to tell.” Damn right it is! It isn’t always easy, but I believe that it’s truth that resonates most with readers. It’s truth that brings a creative project its success, whether internal or external.
Thank you for sharing the wisdom. I always look forward to your newsletters.
Ooooooh, thank you, Raza! That means so much!! I agree, I'm in awe of Stephanie's confidence! And, yes, I agree, the truth resonates! 🌸
Writing about people you love who have done not the best things to you is one of the hardest things a writer can do. Nothing illegal about it but just hard for everyone involved. I admire Stephanie's courage.