Oh Jane, I so wish I could've gone, but now I feel like I might get some good karma for clearing the way for Lorna to go! It sound like you both had a wonderful time despite the bumps. And in true Jane form, you turned a personal experience into a beautifully written piece that speaks to so many, thereby racking up your own karma points. Fingers crossed the treatments turn out to be helpful. I love you!
You will most definitely get good karma, sweet friend! I would never have thought to reach out to Lorna if you haven't first been determined to go with me!! Thank you, thank you! And thanks for all your kind words. I love you, too! 🌸
Hi Jane, I love everything about this story (except that you didn’t get enough sleep). Rimpoche’s wisdom never fails. Sending you lots of love and goodness for your healing.❤️
Thank you so much, dear Cyndi! Do you remember Rimpoche saying that? I feel like every time I turned around he was saying it. But maybe it was directed at me. Haha. 🌸
Yes, he did say that! It's such an incredible idea to think that accepting someone's generosity is a gift to them. I'm so glad you remembered that advice and had such a good time with your generous friend.
I could feel all the warmth of this good company and adventuring (though adventuring for very hard things 💔💔 medical trips: are they really trips at all?? Hard to say). When you wrote this - “if you’re someone who always takes care of everything on their own — and doesn’t let on how hard much of it is (why do we do this??)” - my only thought was: trauma. I don’t know if this is true or not but I’m guessing, for the pathologically independent, there were times we did have the impulse to ask for help and that impulse was treated, whether by life or folks or both, harshly. Thank you for so richly illustrating the rewards of reaching into our vulnerabilities and taking care of tender selves by asking for help! (I have my own version of bursting into tears at tiny crocheted messages a-plenty). I’m sending you many hopes for comfort and progress in the inching back to health!
Kara! This rang so true! I laughed out loud at "pathologically independent." Yes! And, yes, in the early years of the accident I did not receive the help I needed from key people in my life, something I'm still doing my best to work through. I definitely have a lot of health trauma. Thank you for your kindness and insight. And yay for tiny crocheted messages!! 🌸
"tiny-crocheted messages" may need to be the same of a new Substack :) if I may say so, it hurts my heart to hear that you did not receive the right help in the early years of your accident <3 <3 sending you lots of gentleness and company for these bound places and many hot teas in these cold days!
Oh, Jane! It makes my heart warm to read this and to know that you were taken such good care of even in the midst of that anxiety and such mediocre accommodations. The good ripples out, not just from Lorna to you, but then to me, to us, in your sharing. Thank you.
This was a great post to read as I prepare to fly and be with my brother, which may or may not be the last time I see him. Maybe my sendoff will feel a little lighter because of you, with the reminder of the gifts that arrive for the one who accompanies the other.
Oh, Deb. Thank you for your beautiful and tender words. They've gone right to my heart. Thank you. I'm so sorry for what awaits you. Life can be so hard. Sending so much love and support your way. 🌸
I adore little one-eyed Frederick! (Everyone should have such a wee companion! I have Oopa, who is a very small, round donkey.) I have a hard time asking for help, I like doing things myself, pushing through the latest pain or anguish. I run myself into the ground to a melt down point, and finally, help comes asking "What can I do?" I usually shoo them away and pull myself together again. Tho' lately, I've asked my Fred to defrost the meat, cut up the onions and whatever veggies he pleases, and I would take care it from there to make dinner. It's a small thing, but it has helped my well being. I'm so glad you had Lorna's help, that's so lovely!
Yes, I relate to so much of what you've written! It's in my blood. And, yet: wow, having Lorna there to help me felt fantastic!! I'm glad you have Fred. Maybe experiment with letting him do a few more things...?? 🌸
Isn't it the best thing EVER to have solid friends who care and come when you need them? I hope things get better for you, this was a warm read and it gave me pause to think about who I might ask for help if the time comes... love and friendship make the world sing.
Absolutely loved this latest story,Jane...so beautiful! I've had trouble asking for help my whole life too...I was raised with the concept of you try to do things yourself and don't bother others with your problems...I still struggle internally when I'm about to ask someone for help.Very cool picture of you and Lorna...I hope this New Year brings healing and better things for you,our planet,and all our beloved animals...😻💕🥰
Thank you, Sandra, for all your kind words! Yes, it's such a struggle. But I do my best to frame as I'm providing an opportunity for others to generate good karma (or whatever you believe in)! It really does help! And, yes, blessing to our planet and her animals. And to you and your kitties! 🌸
Jane! I have been thinking of you ever since learning about your appointments in Baltimore. I'm so glad you enjoyed strolling around Frederick. The big, multi-dealer antiques store is my favorite. And everyone should have a Lorna in their lives. How lucky that you have the OG! If you ever should come back, consider me your backup cousin. Or at least a dining companion. DC is not too far away and my shoulder is always available.
Oh, we somehow missed that! And we both would have loved it! Yes, we definitely all need a Lorna! And thank you for the kind offer, Cathy. I may take you up on it! 🌸
Wishing you all the best on your road back to health. I too am terrible at asking for help, even in the most mundane situations like looking for an item in a store! I will scour every shelf in an attempt to find it myself before I admit 'defeat'.
Giving help has never been a problem....but asking? Oh boy:) I can only think it leads back to my fear of rejection, and perhaps my Scottish upbringing:)
Love this! Wishing you a happy and healthy 2025. May we all have a Lorna (and a Kate who planted the seed) in our lives and may we also be those positive acorns for others. Thank you for this reminder!
I’m so glad Lorna accompanied you, so glad for Frederick, so glad for the goodness that’s intermixed with the struggle. Thank you for sharing this story.
One-eyed Fredrick! I, too, was raised by a Londoner who lived through the Blitz and I, too, am still, even in my seventies, exploring the nuances of giving and receiving help.
Oh Jane, I so wish I could've gone, but now I feel like I might get some good karma for clearing the way for Lorna to go! It sound like you both had a wonderful time despite the bumps. And in true Jane form, you turned a personal experience into a beautifully written piece that speaks to so many, thereby racking up your own karma points. Fingers crossed the treatments turn out to be helpful. I love you!
You will most definitely get good karma, sweet friend! I would never have thought to reach out to Lorna if you haven't first been determined to go with me!! Thank you, thank you! And thanks for all your kind words. I love you, too! 🌸
Hi Jane, I love everything about this story (except that you didn’t get enough sleep). Rimpoche’s wisdom never fails. Sending you lots of love and goodness for your healing.❤️
Thank you so much, dear Cyndi! Do you remember Rimpoche saying that? I feel like every time I turned around he was saying it. But maybe it was directed at me. Haha. 🌸
Yes, he did say that! It's such an incredible idea to think that accepting someone's generosity is a gift to them. I'm so glad you remembered that advice and had such a good time with your generous friend.
I could feel all the warmth of this good company and adventuring (though adventuring for very hard things 💔💔 medical trips: are they really trips at all?? Hard to say). When you wrote this - “if you’re someone who always takes care of everything on their own — and doesn’t let on how hard much of it is (why do we do this??)” - my only thought was: trauma. I don’t know if this is true or not but I’m guessing, for the pathologically independent, there were times we did have the impulse to ask for help and that impulse was treated, whether by life or folks or both, harshly. Thank you for so richly illustrating the rewards of reaching into our vulnerabilities and taking care of tender selves by asking for help! (I have my own version of bursting into tears at tiny crocheted messages a-plenty). I’m sending you many hopes for comfort and progress in the inching back to health!
Kara! This rang so true! I laughed out loud at "pathologically independent." Yes! And, yes, in the early years of the accident I did not receive the help I needed from key people in my life, something I'm still doing my best to work through. I definitely have a lot of health trauma. Thank you for your kindness and insight. And yay for tiny crocheted messages!! 🌸
"pathologically independent" yes!
"tiny-crocheted messages" may need to be the same of a new Substack :) if I may say so, it hurts my heart to hear that you did not receive the right help in the early years of your accident <3 <3 sending you lots of gentleness and company for these bound places and many hot teas in these cold days!
Oh, Jane! It makes my heart warm to read this and to know that you were taken such good care of even in the midst of that anxiety and such mediocre accommodations. The good ripples out, not just from Lorna to you, but then to me, to us, in your sharing. Thank you.
Oh, Asha, thank you for these beautiful words. Much and deeply appreciated. 🌸
This was a great post to read as I prepare to fly and be with my brother, which may or may not be the last time I see him. Maybe my sendoff will feel a little lighter because of you, with the reminder of the gifts that arrive for the one who accompanies the other.
Oh, Deb. Thank you for your beautiful and tender words. They've gone right to my heart. Thank you. I'm so sorry for what awaits you. Life can be so hard. Sending so much love and support your way. 🌸
I adore little one-eyed Frederick! (Everyone should have such a wee companion! I have Oopa, who is a very small, round donkey.) I have a hard time asking for help, I like doing things myself, pushing through the latest pain or anguish. I run myself into the ground to a melt down point, and finally, help comes asking "What can I do?" I usually shoo them away and pull myself together again. Tho' lately, I've asked my Fred to defrost the meat, cut up the onions and whatever veggies he pleases, and I would take care it from there to make dinner. It's a small thing, but it has helped my well being. I'm so glad you had Lorna's help, that's so lovely!
Yes, I relate to so much of what you've written! It's in my blood. And, yet: wow, having Lorna there to help me felt fantastic!! I'm glad you have Fred. Maybe experiment with letting him do a few more things...?? 🌸
This was lovely to read. Thank you Jane. Your karma bank is doing very well, from all your kind and wise words to me. X
Haha. I love you, Lorna Lou! ❤️
Isn't it the best thing EVER to have solid friends who care and come when you need them? I hope things get better for you, this was a warm read and it gave me pause to think about who I might ask for help if the time comes... love and friendship make the world sing.
Ooooh, thank you, Pattie! And, yes, it is! 🌸
Absolutely loved this latest story,Jane...so beautiful! I've had trouble asking for help my whole life too...I was raised with the concept of you try to do things yourself and don't bother others with your problems...I still struggle internally when I'm about to ask someone for help.Very cool picture of you and Lorna...I hope this New Year brings healing and better things for you,our planet,and all our beloved animals...😻💕🥰
Thank you, Sandra, for all your kind words! Yes, it's such a struggle. But I do my best to frame as I'm providing an opportunity for others to generate good karma (or whatever you believe in)! It really does help! And, yes, blessing to our planet and her animals. And to you and your kitties! 🌸
Jane! I have been thinking of you ever since learning about your appointments in Baltimore. I'm so glad you enjoyed strolling around Frederick. The big, multi-dealer antiques store is my favorite. And everyone should have a Lorna in their lives. How lucky that you have the OG! If you ever should come back, consider me your backup cousin. Or at least a dining companion. DC is not too far away and my shoulder is always available.
Oh, we somehow missed that! And we both would have loved it! Yes, we definitely all need a Lorna! And thank you for the kind offer, Cathy. I may take you up on it! 🌸
Wishing you all the best on your road back to health. I too am terrible at asking for help, even in the most mundane situations like looking for an item in a store! I will scour every shelf in an attempt to find it myself before I admit 'defeat'.
Giving help has never been a problem....but asking? Oh boy:) I can only think it leads back to my fear of rejection, and perhaps my Scottish upbringing:)
Yes! Same on all of this! And I've no doubt your Scottish upbringing has played a role!! So much generosity offered but terrible at receiving! 🌸
Sending you love and healing vibes on your health journey! ❤️🙏
Thank you so much, Bridget! 🌸
Love this! Wishing you a happy and healthy 2025. May we all have a Lorna (and a Kate who planted the seed) in our lives and may we also be those positive acorns for others. Thank you for this reminder!
Thanks so much, Liz! And yes to all of this! Especially positive acorns! 🌸
I’m so glad Lorna accompanied you, so glad for Frederick, so glad for the goodness that’s intermixed with the struggle. Thank you for sharing this story.
Aw, thank you, Cynthia! 🌸
One-eyed Fredrick! I, too, was raised by a Londoner who lived through the Blitz and I, too, am still, even in my seventies, exploring the nuances of giving and receiving help.
It can be so hard!! But the fact we're both exploring it seems promising! 🌸
Love this update, Jane! Happy new year to you & one-eyed Fredrick!
Oooh, thank you, Lindsey!! Happy new year to you, as well! 🌸