A Gift Guide for the Perfectionist Giver
Some things I love that might make great gifts for people you love
Hi Beyonders!
Are we ever in for a treat. Joanna compiled a list of some of her favorite things. And now I want them, too. Those bath salts! And the charm necklace! And, of course, socks! I’m not a fan of marshmallows, but now I kind of want to try those beautiful French pastel sticks! And don’t forget last month’s list of books all of which would make fantastic gifts!
Happy Holidays! Enjoy!
xJane
When it comes to giving gifts, there are three methodologies:
Give Them What They Want, or The List Approach
Give Them What They Need, or The Socks-and-Underwear Approach
Give Them What You Think They Should Want and/or Need, or The Phyllis Rakoff Approach
As a child, I wished my family took the first approach. I longed to open a box and find a pair of Guess jeans with zippers at the ankle or a Benetton rugby shirt or a stuffed, satin unicorn. But my mom firmly believed that gifts should be important, and meaningful, and remain in the recipient’s life forever; cultured pearl earrings, collectible dolls, grey cashmere sweaters. All things I now love! (Okay, maybe not the dolls.) But as a kid, I wished for the things my friends had. Like all kids, perhaps?
As an adult, I’ve taken a perfectionist approach to gift-giving, striving to meld all three approaches: Giving friends and family what they want, while also aiming to provide wonder and surprise, through gifts they didn’t realize they needed or wanted until they ripped off the shiny paper.
This list reflects that goal! I’ve divided it into a few loose categories but so many of these gifts could work for anyone. (Or, you know, yourself!)
Some things I love that would make an amazing gift for someone you love:
Red satin Mary Janes that are so comfortable I never want to take them off! But I also covet this yellow velvet pair.
This road trip card game delighted our whole family on our last drive. And really helped us understand each other and dig up lots of memories!
Peppermint marshmallows!! Or these delightful French pastel marshmallow sticks!
I discovered adorable, ultra-comfortable Fatface socks while freezing in Portland last fall and now find it hard to wear anything else. Available in cute gift sets!
Well, except these pointelle Bombas, which my sweet husband gave me as a gift earlier this fall.
The best tea in the world: Marriage Freres. Pick any blend. You cannot go wrong. But I especially love Marco Polo, Opera, and Love Story.
My all-time favorite bath salts. The only blend I’ve found that actually relax me and loosen tight muscles.
A great, easy at-home espresso maker—which literally lasts forever—and a perfect frother.
A not-boring, not-crazy-expensive cashmere sweater, in bright stripes, calm stripes, or color block!
Madewell bucket bag i.e. the actual perfect handbag
For teens and people with teen-like tendencies, which occasionally includes both me and my third grader and maybe everyone in the world:
Teens want, more than anything, for you to pay attention, to see them for who they actually are; thus, I tend to give my older kids—now nineteen and sixteen—things that will make them happy now and not worry about posterity. Here are things they’ve requested this year or already own and love!
Giant, plaid scarf. I love the colors of this one but my girls are very drawn to this neutral version and all three of us own the super-warm Fatface model.
A huge splurge: This Nineties-style Northface puffer.
A super-retro film camera or an instant camera. Don’t forget film!
Birkenstock Bostons in Taupe (I just gave these to my older daughter for her birthday and she was so happy she nearly cried.)
A vintage-looking record player that’s also a bluetooth speaker. (My son, nineteen, has had this for years and loves it.)
Adidas Campus 00s, in black or another neutral. (Do not even try to give them a different style. Trust me.)
Ugg Minis, which seem very impractical to me, a person with always-cold ankles, but they’re the thing this year. (Last year, it was the Tasman, which are very comfortable and would make a great gift for a slightly older human who doesn’t care that they’re so LY.)
Fair Isle sweaters, which exist at every price point. My kids love this Old Navy version and I am dropping hints about this Madewell iteration. I have Mainer friends who’ve owned L.L. Bean’s version for thirty and forty years and it’s a beauty, especially in blue. Also some cute ones from Loft, Target, American Eagle, and so many other places, I could devote a whole column to the 2024 fair isle sweater.
Perfume from Sol de Janeiro, Vacation, or Glossier
Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk lipliner or lipstick or perhaps this cute gift set
A Charm necklace, which you can customize, or pick up premade. My eight-year-old gave her older sister this Wild fable version as a birthday gift and she LOVES it.
Hand-knit mittens (I have a pair similar to these, from a local shop, and love them!)
Things my eight-year-old wants or owns and loves:
Literally anything from Supersmalls but especially this bead kit.
Color-changing markers=the best.
For little Swifties, these glittery boots and this fab faux fur jacket! (There’s also a women’s version, in case you’d like it for yourself.)
A prank kit, which works so well, this morning I attempted to clean up fake dog poop.
A hot glue gun, with metallic glue cartridges.
Things for People Who Are VERY Difficult About Gifts, including cranky parents and spouses:
A bushel of something they already love but complain about being too expensive, or something they need but maddeningly won’t buy for themselves, like Uniqlo socks in every color in the rainbow, four of their favorite luxury deodorant, French sunscreen, or toothpaste.
A big wool throw, like this one, draped over me above, a gift from my friend Kelly, over which my whole family fights.
Something they would never think to buy for themselves: a nameplate necklace (which I’m giving to both my daughters), or a personalized bookplate or book embosser, special edition of a favorite book, like this gorgeous edition of Little Women, or a bibliotherapy session with the magical Lucy Pearson.
Only a monster could resist something made specifically for them. Pretty much anyone will love Papier’s personalized notecards or notebooks or planners (I use all three!), or an L.L. Bean tote, or J. Crew’s perfect, comfy monogrammed pajamas. Or pajamas printed with their cat’s face!
Or, you know, flowers. But every month! (This is what I would most like, in case you want to drop a hint to my family.)
Let me know in the comments what you end up giving, especially to those difficult folks, and also what’s on your list! And help me figure out, please, what I should get for the one person who always stumps me: My dear husband.
Love, Joanna
If you missed my November column, you can find it here. Lots of great books that would make for wonderful holiday presents:
those marshmallows are such a great idea! also i want the bracelet kit for myself and the red shoes.
When i wanna gift sb something, i like to know their preferences to some extent. Personally, i prefer to receive gifts such as clothes (My mom sometimes jokingly hits me whenever i wear sth and it looks good on me. That's because physically, i'm like my dad: broad shoulders, tall hands and legs. And my mom's shorter than my dad), nail polishes (no color preference. I have ten nail polishes stored somewhere in my room, but i always wanna have more😁), mugs and books (Especially literary books).