This piece resonated deeply in how it shows what sustained lying does to trust, relationships, and one’s sense of self. I appreciated the way you describe lies not as abstract ideas, but as experiences that live in the body and linger over time. Not every conflict has two equal sides, and some lies are intentional rather than misunderstandings. Thank you for writing this with such honesty and for reminding us that truth, love, and clear boundaries still carry real weight.
Deepak, thank you so much for your kind words! And for taking the time to share them. This was a hard essay for me to write and I wasn't sure I was conveying what I wanted to properly. But you've let me know that I have. Thank you for that! Such a gift. 🌸
Thank you Jane for your thoughts. I live a few blocks from the Pretti murder in Minneapolis. This last week has been traumatic and outrageous. The lies in particular were triggering for me. I had nightmares. The administration saying the opposite of what I saw put me in free fall. Thank you for this,"My own liar has been out of my life for a while, but the imprint they left remains, and such imprints can haunt us." I definitely have found freedom through telling the truth. It is amazing. However when the lies creep in, I can rise from the confusion and recognize what's going on.
Oh, Mary Beth, living so close must be taking a tremendous toll. LIES ARE SO TRIGGERING!! Yes, we have to just keep repeating and living into the truth. Thank you for your kind words. xx
Thank you for sharing such a personal story in this essay.
I too lived thru a sociopathic ex telling the most horrid lies about me. I walked away from that entire ‘tribe’ of people with whom I had belonged for years.
It takes much time, deep healing, macro and micro interventions on our part, repeat repeat. But eventually we get to a place where most of the scar tissue is supple enough to move and not tear.
I wrote a poem in my last post about shock. Many people are not even aware they are in it.
Recognizing the lies we can no longer live within is the beginning.
Yes to all of this, Teyani! I especially love this: "eventually we get to a place where most of the scar tissue is supple enough to move and not tear." That's where I am, thank goodness. But, of course, you still feel it. And it is so shocking! I use that word so much around all of this. I think you're right, we're all in shock!! Thank you for your kind words. xx
Thank you for your article. I can't say anything about personal lies, but political lies poisoned and destroyed the huge country of the USSR and continue destroying Russia. I am not sure what will happen with the USA.
So powerful and so apt. I cannot listen to lies without becoming enraged. Lies are not only cruel but they are signs of weakness. There is great power in telling the truth as we see it.
Oh dear Jane - this is bone deep and so profound! As I was reading and resonating I began to think that some of the worst lies are the ones we believe about ourselves, and that’s exactly where you went next in your piece! I was thinking of how Martha Beck describes the “ring of truth” in The Way of Integrity and how our bodies always know; peace is our true home address. And then I was thinking of EFT and sure enough you shouted out our beloved Amy Sher, who I’m now recalling is the reason I know you! If I once didn’t know or believe in our energetic Oneness I certainly can’t deny it now with all this vibing! And that’s exactly where resistance movements come from, the incredible power of speaking our truth collectively and not just with words, but moving our bodies where they need to go. Hugs and thanks to you and Amy for your incredible work personifying LOVE! 💕
Karen! Yes, I so agree--the lies we believe about ourselves are the worst! And funnily, I had Martha Beck in this essay alongside Amy. But Amy's words were so strong all on their own! I'm so glad Amy led you here. We're so lucky she's in our lives! And yes to energetic oneness and the resistance. And thank you for your kind words! ❤️
This is all so beautiful, Jane. And much needed. The more we say out loud what we know is the real and honest truth, the more we are able to combat the lies and give other innocent people around us the psychological reassurance that it is constructive and necessary to speak the truth. And that this is not normal and they can rely on their own eyes and ears. Other people see and hear the truth too with their own eyes and ears. It’s validating and reassuring to know that we are not imagining things and to know that bullies lie.
Thank you for all that you share here and for speaking the truth. It matters. And it is the very reason that honesty and love are growing and becoming stronger and louder. I believe they are too and will continue to do so as we all express ourselves and bear witness to the truth. ❤️
Oooh, Jennifer, thank you for this, for your kind and beautiful words, and for your truth. And yes, yes, yes, I do believe we are moving with love. I pray that we are in a safer place soon. ❤️
Such a profound and illuminating piece, Jane. What is so baffling is how the lies that are said are often believed to be ‘truth’ by the people/institutions spewing them. Creating sticky webs of intended confusion for us to become ‘stuck’ within.
You have woven a needed pathway to recognition, truth, and tools to get the lies out of one’s body.
How I wish you had not been on the receiving end of such ill intended behavior. Oy!!!
The truth is what sets us free. May we always be reminded that no one can ever tell us who we are. They can try, yet we know. In gratitude for sharing with such courage and a deep conviction. I cannot help but feel it.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart in truth and LOVE. 💜🪶
Thank you so much, Joanie. Your words always go right to my heart. Yes, no one can ever tell us who we are. But sometimes I have stumbled on this path. Oof! Glad it's easier these days. ❤️
Lovely, lovely Jane. I honestly cannot imagine why anyone would want to spread lies about you and undermine you. What rot must be in their heart…?
À beautiful essay, as always. A couple of days ago I watched the film “All that is left of you” (stunning!) and there is a line that has stayed with me: “ your humanity is also a form of resistance. No one can take it away from you.” It has made me sob because I realized that this was my core belief, as I believe is yours. We can’t give in to hate and lies.
As for that unforgettable poem by Kim Addonizio, I must thank you. You are the one who introduced me to her poetry! And, I went and subscribed to her newsletter. This is how I learned about a poetry workshop she was running in Italy, which I couldn’t afford. But, I applied for a grant and got it! So last May I spent 10 days with Kim and an amazing group of poets in Italy. And now I’m writing a poetry collection inspired by that experience!! And it all started with you here!!!!! So thank you Jane!
OMG!! Imola!!! I didn't know this--that makes me soooo happy!! How wonderful. I also didn't know she was on Substack. I will have to check it out. Thank you!!
And thanks for your kind words. Trust me, I am far from perfect. But this level of lying is so brutal and obsessive, that I do believe it has very little to actually do with me. Nevertheless, it's hard to be on the receiving end of. xx
Kim is not on Substack. She has a mailing list through her website about workshops that she’s running. Although, I would love to read an interview you do with her!! :) yes, this is the incredible gift of Substack for me: not the number of subscribers, but the inspiring community! When you go in with no expectations, it’s just magic!
I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate this. I live with this pain, not to mention outrage, too and it is a lot to bear. It can be a lonely place to be, and your piece makes me feel not so alone. Yes, malicious lies are a form of violence
I'm so sorry you also live with this, Marisol. And am glad my words resonated. Yes, it can be so so lonely. This was incredibly hard for me to write but one of the main reasons I pushed myself was because I thought there were others out there. Lies can take such a toll! ❤️
This piece resonated deeply in how it shows what sustained lying does to trust, relationships, and one’s sense of self. I appreciated the way you describe lies not as abstract ideas, but as experiences that live in the body and linger over time. Not every conflict has two equal sides, and some lies are intentional rather than misunderstandings. Thank you for writing this with such honesty and for reminding us that truth, love, and clear boundaries still carry real weight.
Deepak, thank you so much for your kind words! And for taking the time to share them. This was a hard essay for me to write and I wasn't sure I was conveying what I wanted to properly. But you've let me know that I have. Thank you for that! Such a gift. 🌸
If I could double-like this comment I would.
"Lies are a form of violence." YES. This piece is so true and so powerful. Thank you for sharing it.
Oh, thank you, Amy! ❤️
Thank you Jane for your thoughts. I live a few blocks from the Pretti murder in Minneapolis. This last week has been traumatic and outrageous. The lies in particular were triggering for me. I had nightmares. The administration saying the opposite of what I saw put me in free fall. Thank you for this,"My own liar has been out of my life for a while, but the imprint they left remains, and such imprints can haunt us." I definitely have found freedom through telling the truth. It is amazing. However when the lies creep in, I can rise from the confusion and recognize what's going on.
Oh, Mary Beth, living so close must be taking a tremendous toll. LIES ARE SO TRIGGERING!! Yes, we have to just keep repeating and living into the truth. Thank you for your kind words. xx
Yes to keep repeating and living into the truth. Thank you
Thank you for sharing such a personal story in this essay.
I too lived thru a sociopathic ex telling the most horrid lies about me. I walked away from that entire ‘tribe’ of people with whom I had belonged for years.
It takes much time, deep healing, macro and micro interventions on our part, repeat repeat. But eventually we get to a place where most of the scar tissue is supple enough to move and not tear.
I wrote a poem in my last post about shock. Many people are not even aware they are in it.
Recognizing the lies we can no longer live within is the beginning.
Yes to all of this, Teyani! I especially love this: "eventually we get to a place where most of the scar tissue is supple enough to move and not tear." That's where I am, thank goodness. But, of course, you still feel it. And it is so shocking! I use that word so much around all of this. I think you're right, we're all in shock!! Thank you for your kind words. xx
Thank you for your article. I can't say anything about personal lies, but political lies poisoned and destroyed the huge country of the USSR and continue destroying Russia. I am not sure what will happen with the USA.
So true, Larisa. It's terrifying. xx
Thank you Amy for reading and liking my comment on Lies. Great success to your New Substack. Following you.
Jane,
So powerful and so apt. I cannot listen to lies without becoming enraged. Lies are not only cruel but they are signs of weakness. There is great power in telling the truth as we see it.
Thank you, David. Sooooooooo enraged! Oh my goodness. And I agree, a sign of weakness, yes.
thank you Jane for every word. lies as violence. a deep truth.
Thank you, anne. I didn't consider as much until I wrote it. And then I was like, yes. Yes they are! xx
"Bloody footprints where mercy should have stood".
USA We feel you.
Such a beautiful line! Where do you live, Melanie?
San Pedro Sula Honduras
"But the power of love is something to behold. And it’s happening. It is happening."
💗
I'm glad that resonated with you, Melanie! ❤️
Oh dear Jane - this is bone deep and so profound! As I was reading and resonating I began to think that some of the worst lies are the ones we believe about ourselves, and that’s exactly where you went next in your piece! I was thinking of how Martha Beck describes the “ring of truth” in The Way of Integrity and how our bodies always know; peace is our true home address. And then I was thinking of EFT and sure enough you shouted out our beloved Amy Sher, who I’m now recalling is the reason I know you! If I once didn’t know or believe in our energetic Oneness I certainly can’t deny it now with all this vibing! And that’s exactly where resistance movements come from, the incredible power of speaking our truth collectively and not just with words, but moving our bodies where they need to go. Hugs and thanks to you and Amy for your incredible work personifying LOVE! 💕
Karen! Yes, I so agree--the lies we believe about ourselves are the worst! And funnily, I had Martha Beck in this essay alongside Amy. But Amy's words were so strong all on their own! I'm so glad Amy led you here. We're so lucky she's in our lives! And yes to energetic oneness and the resistance. And thank you for your kind words! ❤️
This is all so beautiful, Jane. And much needed. The more we say out loud what we know is the real and honest truth, the more we are able to combat the lies and give other innocent people around us the psychological reassurance that it is constructive and necessary to speak the truth. And that this is not normal and they can rely on their own eyes and ears. Other people see and hear the truth too with their own eyes and ears. It’s validating and reassuring to know that we are not imagining things and to know that bullies lie.
Thank you for all that you share here and for speaking the truth. It matters. And it is the very reason that honesty and love are growing and becoming stronger and louder. I believe they are too and will continue to do so as we all express ourselves and bear witness to the truth. ❤️
Oooh, Jennifer, thank you for this, for your kind and beautiful words, and for your truth. And yes, yes, yes, I do believe we are moving with love. I pray that we are in a safer place soon. ❤️
Such a profound and illuminating piece, Jane. What is so baffling is how the lies that are said are often believed to be ‘truth’ by the people/institutions spewing them. Creating sticky webs of intended confusion for us to become ‘stuck’ within.
You have woven a needed pathway to recognition, truth, and tools to get the lies out of one’s body.
How I wish you had not been on the receiving end of such ill intended behavior. Oy!!!
The truth is what sets us free. May we always be reminded that no one can ever tell us who we are. They can try, yet we know. In gratitude for sharing with such courage and a deep conviction. I cannot help but feel it.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart in truth and LOVE. 💜🪶
Thank you so much, Joanie. Your words always go right to my heart. Yes, no one can ever tell us who we are. But sometimes I have stumbled on this path. Oof! Glad it's easier these days. ❤️
Lovely, lovely Jane. I honestly cannot imagine why anyone would want to spread lies about you and undermine you. What rot must be in their heart…?
À beautiful essay, as always. A couple of days ago I watched the film “All that is left of you” (stunning!) and there is a line that has stayed with me: “ your humanity is also a form of resistance. No one can take it away from you.” It has made me sob because I realized that this was my core belief, as I believe is yours. We can’t give in to hate and lies.
As for that unforgettable poem by Kim Addonizio, I must thank you. You are the one who introduced me to her poetry! And, I went and subscribed to her newsletter. This is how I learned about a poetry workshop she was running in Italy, which I couldn’t afford. But, I applied for a grant and got it! So last May I spent 10 days with Kim and an amazing group of poets in Italy. And now I’m writing a poetry collection inspired by that experience!! And it all started with you here!!!!! So thank you Jane!
OMG!! Imola!!! I didn't know this--that makes me soooo happy!! How wonderful. I also didn't know she was on Substack. I will have to check it out. Thank you!!
And thanks for your kind words. Trust me, I am far from perfect. But this level of lying is so brutal and obsessive, that I do believe it has very little to actually do with me. Nevertheless, it's hard to be on the receiving end of. xx
Kim is not on Substack. She has a mailing list through her website about workshops that she’s running. Although, I would love to read an interview you do with her!! :) yes, this is the incredible gift of Substack for me: not the number of subscribers, but the inspiring community! When you go in with no expectations, it’s just magic!
So true!!
So much truth, and beautifully written! I can relate to all of it. Hugs.
Thank you, dear Sharon! ❤️
I loved this .alot of people need to read this.....
Oh, thank you so much, Chris. Your words mean a lot!
I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate this. I live with this pain, not to mention outrage, too and it is a lot to bear. It can be a lonely place to be, and your piece makes me feel not so alone. Yes, malicious lies are a form of violence
I'm so sorry you also live with this, Marisol. And am glad my words resonated. Yes, it can be so so lonely. This was incredibly hard for me to write but one of the main reasons I pushed myself was because I thought there were others out there. Lies can take such a toll! ❤️